Sometimes being annoying is doing something wrong. If a kid is deliberately being disruptive after repeatedly being told not to, then yeah, they’re doing something wrong.
You are correct (here comes the but) but often times that acting out isn’t just to be annoying. As a kid, being disruptive is sometimes the only way you can get the attention of your adult. We treat kids like anything outside of their basic needs is unimportant. Not wanting to lecture anyone I’ll leave it at that.
I agree wholeheartedly.
actual addition to conversation
The only instinct a child has to get attention is to be disruptive. Eventually they learn patience, better verbiage, and how to time their interactions with others. Time isn’t really a concept yet and things are almost an “on/off” switch.
Hunger doesn’t exist during playtime until Hunger is activated, in which case, Hunger is all that exists. Hunger can only be eliminated with help as the cookies remain furiously out of reach. HELP!
“Attention-seeking behavior” is “hey I need help with something” in their first language. It’s up to the adults to figure out what’s going on. Finding out why they are being disruptive helps, a lot. If they feel they’re being ignored, work out spending time with them as reassurance… when convenient. If they’re hungry, take a moment to procure a proper snack, and then they’ll be satisfied. They might not even know what they need - do any of us really - and that’s where listening can be helpful.
Again, time not being easily explained such an on/off age.
I am not a child therapist. I’ve just worked with too many “difficult” kids.
While I don’t disagree, I have a point to make.
Recently watched a home movie of our kids when they are little (18 years ago), so ages between 3 & 8.
It was a little horrifying to hear the absolute despair in our voices as my wife and I kept asking one kid after the other, “please stop.”
Three kids, all desperately trying to get ALL the attention. It’s amazing the five of us survived.
I don’t particularly recall the day the video was made. Hearing our voices, it sounds like we were just completely past the breaking point. Yet, consider: that was a moment that we considered adorable enough to record forever. Watching it now, they were adorable. However, it sounds like we were dying inside without realizing it.
I hear the same voices in every video. I love my kids and I love being a parent, but it’s amazing looking back how much that and all the other demands on us was just absolutely crushing the life out of us.
raises a glass Parenting is far from easy.
yep. the hardest part of being a parent is the patience to understand, and treat children as the underdeveloped humans they are. not everyone can do it
not everyone can do it
Also good to remember that almost nobody can do it everyday day. It’s definitely good to be consistent with one’s approach, however all parents are human and will lose patience at times.
true that… some of my darkest hours
That’s why they say ‘it takes a village to raise one child.’
Kids don’t have a brain filter. If they hear opera, they’ll sing opera. If they hear cigarette commercials, that’s what they’ll sing.
Cigarette commercials? This man is straight from the 60s.
Oh bless your heart. We had cigarette commercials into the 90s.
Talking radio? I dunno, I don’t remember them and according the the magic box in my hand legislation banning them passed in the 70s. I’m no expert.
Is that a radio jingle?
I’ve fucked this up a few times and snapped at my kids for things that it isn’t reasonable to expect of them. It’s really hard when they show maturity beyond their age and developmental level in some aspects because you can almost forget they aren’t fully developed and so the behavior can feel intentional. Like you get this flash of thinking, “I know the kid knows this is wrong,” and if you aren’t mindful in that moment, you can handle it wrong.
I have always made sure to calm myself down and then go talk to them about it. I apologize for losing my temper and, with an emphasis on how what I did was NOT ok, explain what I was feeling and why it made me react inappropriately. I’m pretty big on making them understand that adults are fallable and make mistakes, too.
I don’t know…it feels like it’s working well.
not everyone can do it
more people should hear this before they decide to have children.
but lets prevent anyone in the poorest sections of the united states from being able to make that call!
yay america!
I try very hard to be honest when talking to my kids. To that end I often say “you are being annoying, stop it”