I have seen in many US shows where they portray guys who are living with parents as losers, or there are jokes or memes about it, I never get it.
I would have but I got caught up in the great recession before I could leave.
then when I finally got enough money to consider looking for a place, I received a very serious medical condition that wiped out finances and seriously affected my working ability. this condition also makes it almost necessary for someone to be around. so unless I hit the powerball or megamillions I’m going to be in my parents house for a while.
There are bootstraps you haven’t appropriately pulled up if you live at home.
The more legitimate reason is that there’s a school of thought that you can’t become a fully-fledged, independent adult without putting some distance between youself and the folks that raised you. There’s a difference between someone who never left home and is content to just stay in the status quo, vs an adult who maybe went to off to college or was away from home for some period of time while working that has had to come back due to challenging circumstances and doesn’t plan to stay longer than they need to. Obviously, the stereotype is of the former and not the latter.
If you’re in an East Asian culture, it’s not.
Seems to even be expected that you live with your parents.
Historical cultural difference between the US and other countries. Although it is less prevalent now, it was expected for a male to be on his own and “leave the nest” as soon as they graduated high school, with college being that transition point if an education was pursued.
The old America where you left home as soon as you could and built your own life with hard work and skill is long gone, but the trope and the expectations are still there.
Now that a) it’s impossible to afford rent and it’s becoming more common and b) we’re transitioning from Boomers (who tended to have a more antagonistic and condescending relationship with their children) to Gen X being the “older generation”, I suspect that perception is in the process of changing now-a-days.
But previous generations were expected to nag the shit out of their kids to get a job and/or spouse and a house so the parents could do cruises full time in their retirement or some such. So to a large extent, it was societal pressure and people got the idea that living with your parents was “pathetic” *from their parents.
Somehow this became a cultural thing in the US. In some other countries like South America it’s perfectly normal for 3-4 generations to live under 1 roof.
My guess is it’s tied to making people spend more money for capitalism. The effect it’s had on families is not very positive. It leads to things like elderly people draining thousands from their savings or family members a month for nursing homes. People have to hire child care when otherwise family members could watch a child. Children grow up with more distance from older relatives. Buying additional homes and cars is way more expensive than sharing them. Additional cable and utility bills. More appliances. More food waste.
In some other countries like South America
I’ll add one two letter word in case you were confused.
I wasn’t confused. It just looked like you were.
This is better now. It’s still not great, but at least it’s not obviously wrong.
It isn’t anymore. That’s dead.
It was, like 25 years ago. Well, maybe 15 years ago.
Pre-2007.
Because back then people were making good money out of college, and they were able to buy a house for themselves. Shit, they didn’t even need to go to college. As long as you were working hard before 2007, and you were going to be able to find a down payment on a house as long as you didn’t have some kind of financial affliction.
That’s not to say that gen X had it easy as compared to those before them, but there’s a clear separation.
Millennials tried their hardest not to live at home, just because of the social stigma.
Gen Z is feeling that stigma less. That’s why you’re probably here questioning why it’s even a thing. You’re probably Gen Z.
Jen alpha won’t see it as strange.
I really hope the stigma goes away because unless the world economy improves, a lot of people will have to stay with parents until a lot later in life.
It is a cultural thing though. It’s not an issue at all in most of SE Asia.
My parents suck. If you have to put up with their shit you’re definitely a loser.
Glad I don’t live with your parents.
Seing how most US parrents raise their children, I do believe you.
in the US, we value independence - and living with your parents after you’re 18 is the polar opposite, or so society would lead you to believe.
Disregarding different societal norms, I find it interesting that some people don’t have the intrinsic need to gtfo to a more personal space, be it either nice or shitty parents.
Depends on how old you are. There is nothing wrong with living with your parents till your early 20s.
But if you’re still living with them when you’re going on 40, something has probably gone wrong for you.
could you maybe explain why instead of only reinforcing the stereotype? I’d be really curious to know what happens to you between your early 20s and your late 30s
I’d be really curious to know what happens to you between your early 20s and your late 30s
You’re supposed to grow up and become independent.
I’d be really curious to know what happens to you between your early 20s and your late 30s
As some people said in this thread, it’s hard to get a job that pays well out of college. You’re supposed to be using the help of living at home to work towards getting an actual career so that you can afford to move out by/around 30. If you are in a difficult financial situation in your 20s and you instead spend them spending your money freely and frivolously without bettering yourself, you’d be rightfully seen as “lazy”.
I graduated with a degree that didn’t work out in the path I originally saw for myself. I moved back in with my parents at age 22, and spent my 20s:
- Working whatever desk job I could
- Saving as much as possible
- Teaching myself programming at night
I would not have had been able to do the 2nd and 3rd things unless I was living at home, because I’d be putting all my small pay towards rent and living expenses, and also probably be too tired to learn a new career as 1 entry level job is not enough and I’d probably be working more hours or a 2nd job to make ends meet. At the same time, if I was not doing those things while at home, I’m wasting an opportunity and my privileged position (not everyone can move back), and would see myself as lazy. In my 30s, I have an actual career and had put myself in a good financial situation thanks to that opportunity of being able to move back in.
My father is 50+ and still lives with his parents
Because it used to be a sign that someone was unsuccessful or “lazy”. Now it just means the housing market is absolute dog shit, and people making 200k a year still can’t afford to buy a house near their work.
Multi-generational households have been the most common form of familial living arrangements in human history, so, take that as you will.
It’s a disgrace - but only because the system is so messed up. I’m old enough to own my own house but my kids probably never will unless they live with me well into their 30s and save like crazy. My generation and those before me have screwed up the housing market.
I have to admit it’s refreshing to hear from the haves acknowledging it was their and prior generations that fuckes things up instead of accusing the younger generations of being lazy.
Because the people who write American media are the same people with investments in real estate.
Purely for dumb reasons. If you don’t need to escape from them and it makes financial sense go for it and ignore anyone who judges you for it… they’re assholes.
