You’ll be fine. You are incredibly young. I just started over with a new career at 45. I have friends my age who are back in school. Maybe try not to have kids since that will make this all harder. But then again, have em if you want em.

You have time, just don’t do drugs. Else you won’t have time.

There will always be someone who is beating you in a metric (buying houses, having kids, promotions, pay, relationships, etc…) fixating on it will drive you mad.

Instead you should compare your current status against where you were and appreciate how you are moving forward

As for age

During university my best mate was 27 who dropped out of his final year, grabbed a random job, then went to college to get a BTEC so they could start the degree.

It was similar in my graduate intake, we had a 26 year old who had been a brickie for 5 years before getting a comp sci degree.

The first person I line managed was a junior 15 years older than me, who had a completely different career stream. They had the house, kids, had managed big teams, etc… honestly I learnt tons from them.

I was in the same situation as you when I was 24. You’ll be fine, just don’t forget to keep looking for formation or work opportunities. Otherwise, time can start passing by reaaaally fast :P

Haha, yeah…

I did the classic overachiever route and finished my thesis pretty fast, focused on a specific career. Then still ended up with a shitty full-time job, so took on three more jobs and started a nonprofit. All that still got me exactly nowhere. I was ridiculously stressed. One time I didn’t sleep for 3 days and had to check in to the hospital.

Hopefully this offers some comfort. The things you consider mistakes, are the things I wish I had done. Even spending more time with my parents. So perhaps nothing is so serious :)

My “nuclear option” was immigration. I sold everything and (just barely) got a business license in the developing world. I’m basically Ozymandias from watchmen, but less fit and I don’t own tights. Also none of my friends are blue. Splicing genes and splitting atoms, I will admit to though.

Anyway the point is, what matters is what happens next. I don’t recommend immigrating to the developing world (it’s acutely distressing), but it’s surprising how much we can influence the outcomes of our lives if we radically commit to a course of action. If the exact details of your course of action aren’t optimal (or even borderline insane), I think that’s OK, it’s being radically committed to improving your future that matters. The context isn’t exactly irrelevant, but I think it’s secondary.

So no need to stress. Better to spend that energy doing. Anything reasonable will do. Start a side hustle, learn programming, design websites, learn to do taxes for yourself and others. Degrees are OK but I don’t value them any more personally. Get used to starting at square one over and over – it’s a good habit and you will eventually know how to do many things. People who can do many things are rare and valuable.

I dropped out of high school at 17 and went to college (which I think is the same as a community college in the US? Not a full four-year degree) when I was 24 for programming. Worked as a programmer for a couple years and then got bored and went into agriculture for a couple years. Now I’m bored again and looking at going back to school for something else. I’m 33 and I’m doing fine. 21 is so young! You have lots of time to figure yourself out. Honestly I think asking 18-year-olds to decide what they want to do forever is ridiculous. Almost nobody knows themselves that well that young. I’m still figuring out what I want in life.

I have been struggling with my career for about 4-5 years now. I am already 33. Life takes a while to settle. There is no rush and definitely no need to stress about it. Loops are pretty common. You are not too old. 21 is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I just want to add some context as a person that’s going grey.

You are still incredibly young in your 20s. There’s still so much time left for you.

It’s the ideal time to drop out. Think things over and find some purpose or direction.

Or not.

So much is made about knowing your course in life, when often learning to drift the right way can be far more enjoyable.

So yeah, not exactly a call to hedonism, but try to find what you enjoy and where your ambition lies then make positive steps to get there.

Currently in the midst of a midlife crisis, I laugh at your quarter life crisis. You have no idea what crisis is. Here’s my take:

Life is short. Try not to make too many dumb decisions. Stay away from hard drugs and alcohol. Try your best to find a career that you actually like doing. Understand that your mental health is important. It’s OKAY to ask for mental help—don’t wait until you’re 40 to find that out.

Don’t worry about living with your parents. Be happy you still have them. If Uni isn’t right for you now, you can go later or not at all. If you have nuclear options… do it now. Do it while you still have a fallback plan.

Oh and, stay out of debt. That’s how they keep you a slave. Houses and education can be exceptions, but if you don’t have the CASH to buy the THING, you don’t get the THING.

I’m approaching 40 this year. Around 20, I missed an important uni deadline, and meant the degree I had planned would cost me an extra year I couldn’t afford (like literally couldn’t afford the tuition). Managed to finish, but with a degree no one would recommend. Was absolutely panicked.

Ultimately, ended up very successful in a job in a country on the other side of the world. Met the woman who is now my wife of 13 years, had some amazing adventures, moved to a few more different countries, changed industries again about 10 years ago, and worked my way up to upper management again before leaving that field too.

TL;DR No, stress has brought me nothing but misery, I have no regrets except that I didn’t enjoy the ride as much as I could have.

Learn new stuff as you work, or as hobbies (my entire second career started as a hobby). Don’t be afraid to “fake it till you make it” and keep an eye out for jobs you didn’t even consider as a possibility. I personally avoid corporate gigs, smaller independent companies are more likely to notice you and use you for the skills you bring. Life can fly by, enjoy the ride.

I had everything figured out at 21. Graduating soon with good grades from an engineering degree, job already lined up, eager to start the next chapter of my life.

Unfortunately a couple of years later I absolutely hated my job, quit, broke up with my girlfriend, moved back in with my parents and basically started again from scratch.

Life is not a linear progression like driving from one place to another. It’s ok to take your time, explore, figure yourself out and keep trying.

I’m 29 and work with people in their 40’s and up. None of them have their shit together.

The idea that you must have a fully set career and planned life in your 20s is a conspiracy and a scam made to make you feel less-than and worse.

Beat em. Live life at the pace it comes to ya. Don’t think about where you should be. There is no should. Society is a game of dress up and everyone is a nervous ape that just wants be to loved.

What mistakes are you repeating?

Coming from a person having a quarter-life crisis being just a baw hair from their 30s.

1. You are still extremely young but don’t fixate on this. Telling yourself “I’m still young and have plenty of time to do X or fix the Y” means eventually you will be too old for those things. Unless you will fall ill or there will be some age restricted obstacles, it’s not true. You can learn new skills in your 20s as well as your 40s if you are determined enough. Shifting your career? No bother, I know heaps of people that did just that in their uni days as well as ones that are long into their existing career.

2. Don’t worry about this. If you fell behind the pack with your studies, means it wasn’t for you. Whether it was the nature of your course, or maybe a uni in general. Going to university is not for everybody, just like doing manual labour is not for everybody. Use this opportunity to ask yourself a question, WHY did you drop out. Is it because you were too lazy? If you had true passion for it, you would find motivation to do it.

3. No shame in that. I know people that are in their 30s and live with their parents to save money for their first home. Use this opportunity to enjoy your life without certain worries. The time to pay taxes, rent and for your food will come and you will look back fondly on this period of your life :) It would still be a good idea to chip in for utilities and food to your parents if you have means to do so. Will probably make you feel better about living there.

4. Good. Do mistakes. You learn more from your mistakes than from the things you did right. But the important thing is to analyze WHY you made those mistakes.

5. Maybe check if there is a career advisor near you/on your campus? They offer free advise based on what interests you. Ask yourself what are things in your life that you are passionate about or what kind of stuff do you enjoy doing. Remember, if you are passionate about something, there is a way to make it into your career. There is a reason why some people that are truly passionate about video games, they go into streaming career, and they are very successful. Me for example, I love playing video games, but I don’t see myself doing for a full on career, because I want to keep it as my private hobby, and I lack certain traits to become a successful streamer (English is not my first language, I’m self conscious and I lack certain charisma).

6. Do it. Only by trying you will learn anything about yourself. Hypothesising will only get you this far.

That’s my advice :)

I didn’t stress. I avoided stress. When my classes got too stressful I stopped going. When paying for school got too stressful I dropped out. When working my shitty computer tech job got too stressful I went down to part-time and started falling behind on rent. When I lost the apartment, telling my family was too stressful so I just became homeless for a while.

That was the crisis. That was the lowest point.

Maybe tolerating just a little more stress would have been good for me.