I think I got a crush on my dance instructor. Which fucking sucks for all the obvious reasons. Normally I wouldn’t be so worried. BUT I JUST HAD A GODDAMN ROMANTIC DREAM ABOUT HER. Seriously I just woke up from a dream about her confessing her love to me and me eagerly doing the same about her.
So how do you stop a crush from developing further? Because this is a well from which only disappointment may be drawn.
Play Baldurs Gate 3 and crush hard on your companions.
Try actively steering your fantasy past the peak of infatuation and into the latter stages of a relationship and on to breakup.
Right now, you have intrusive thoughts about falling in love with them, and probably the excitement of getting to know someone intimately. Instead of trying to hold back, let that fantasy play out in your head further. Imagine moving in, imagine them not getting you when you’re explaining your problems. Imagine liking them, but finding their bad habits increasingly intolerable, and never being able to pick a movie to watch. Imagine them not flushing the toilet and clogging the shower drain with hair. And then imagine meeting someone new, and feeling guilty about crushing had on them. Imagine this new person reciprocates, and imagine politely explaining to your dance instructor that you guys can stay friends but, the romance has run it’s course.
And there you are. The itch is scratched, and in your mind they’re just a friend again.
This totally works. Way back in middle school I had a pretty big crush on this guy. I was shy and there was just a trickle of his interest in me, posibly imaginary, but just enough to keep me miserable. One night had a pretty long dream about us going through a whole relationship with all the misunderstandings, arguments, and realizations that come with it. Woke up super refreshed, fulfilled, and ready to move on. About a year later he asked me out and I turned him down. Felt like it’d be going back to an ex or something.
This made me sad to the core. What’s the point of life
I’m sorry if I bummed you out! For what it’s worth, I think you’re misreading this!
This exercise isn’t supposed to reflect an inevitability to relationships becoming unfulfilling. It’s just a tool to recover the ability to see people in a balanced and realistic way instead of through the uncontrollably lens of puppy love.
I’m in a long term relationship, well past the point of early infatuation, and I can tell you that that feeling is replaced by a different kind of love that I enjoy just as much. Long term relationships shouldn’t be scary, they’re wonderful. But when you’re smitten, simulating the evolution in how you feel about someone as you get to know them is just a way to remove the effects of a crush.
Don’t be sad! Long term relationships with a person you like are wonderful.
Don’t be sad! Long term relationships with a person you like are wonderful.
Joke’s on you; I don’t have those.
To let go. Clinging is the source of all suffering.
Holy shit, you’re a mad genius! Definitely gonna try this! thanks!
I’m 90% sure your instructor is a compulsive nose picker.
me too
I heard that your instructor uses windows (🤢)
How else would they get fresh air in their room?
More concerned from the stalker perspective
Find someone else
Simple yet effective. I think that there is something missing romantically in your life and those feelings won’t go away because you bury them
It’s not burying them per se, it’s how sex drives work.
I find my crushes go away on their own after about a week. Your mileage may vary.
All this advise is making me realize it wasn’t just a crush.
I’ve not seen her for years, I try my best to have contempt for her, I don’t look her up or make any sort of contact. She’s dead as far as I know, and that’s kinda how it feels. But I think about her often, I think about the regrets. It’s been years of no contact and I’m still mourning losing this “crush”
Imagine her picking her nose and eating the booger. Next, imagine her taking a huge stinky steaming dump. Disclaimer: only works if you’re not German.
Or Cartman’s mother.
You and your dance instructor should hang out and take molly together.
Meet new people
Shit yourself in front of her. You may need to prepare with laxative beforehand.
How the fuck did this get suggested twice?
I’ve found that when I want to kill a crush I can start looking for characteristics I dislike. Everyone has them and early on in infatuation we gloss over them. But intentionally highlight them and that crush usually goes away pretty quick. Works for me anyway
She kicks puppies for fun and idolizes Hitler but God damn she’s sexy.
Really? Man, I always thought it was to study their routines and plan the murder for when they are most alone and have the site and a grave prepared. Ideally away from prying eyes unless you like the thrill of getting caught or whatever…
But that aside, this is really solid advice. Nitpicking things you don’t like is a great option towards losing interest.
Don’t jerk off thinking about her
The advice People give in the comments it’s absolutely funny, it reeks of people who never leaves their house, or is women giving advice or some western Buddhist bullshit about letting go.
or is women giving advice
?
Unless they are self aware their advice is shit
Yeah, instead you should whip your magnum dong out and tell her to get to work. Be a man! Whip your dick out! Bitches love dick.
You have a smooth brain, don’t go exposing yourself to people. see? All this advice is garbage.
Time. Crushes are naturally a temporary infatuation. They pass given time. Have fun with the fantasies, but I personally would not suggest trying to actually hit on her.
It’s poor form to hit on people in their work places. If she initiates, that’s one thing, but I wouldn’t try anything otherwise.
To be fair, it would be unprofessional and in poor taste for the instructor to advance on a student/client.
From my own experience: cut all contact with that person… which may not be viable in your situation.
I had a crush on a girl when I was 14, still do, It’s been 10 years. Havent seen her or talked to her for 8. Can a hypnotist or someone help.
Its not a deep crush now, but I still think about her OFTEN and am not at all over it.
Edit: jeez i wonder what it’d be like to be on the recieving end of that lol.
UPDATE: I JUST REACHED OUT AND SHE DOESNT EVEN REMEBER ME 😭😭. I FEEL ~
dead inside~Ouch. That sucks 😞
At least you know though. Maybe you can move on now. Hope so 🤞
Oh my brain will delulu itself into something I’m sure.
Yeah, I’ve found that learned anxiety that my brain has around crushes from my past is one thing time does not heal.
So it’s either quit dancing or develop romantic feelings for her? Q.E.D. I’m fucked.
I mean, you can find a new dance instructor.
Yeah, salami, can you just switch classes? Or another dance studio, same course or something?
Yeah that’s actually not that bad of an idea. If things go south I’ll use this as a last resort. Change dance studios that is.
Come out of the closet as asexual and aromantic and the issue will disappear like a puff of smoke.
NOTE: this strategy could have negative consequences if you live in a country that doesn’t recognize LGBT rights.
I first read that as “asexual and aromatic” and I was like, … Well, i guess if you don’t like sex and you smell like garlic…
Even my keyboard thought I meant to say “aromatic”
Would asexuals really have that bad of a time in a country that is not that supportive of LGBT? I don’t think not wanting to have sex is seen as bad by people who dislike LGBT?
In my country especially (it’s Morocco), so many people think it’s a bad idea to not get married and not have children (which requires sex anyway) simply because it’s so engrained in our society to do that. Blame the state religion.
Idk why, but when I told my dad I wanna be celibate, he called me an atheist, which I’m not.
Also, asexualism is technically a part of LGBT, just in a very secondary manner. If people know about the full picture, they’ll start threatening you.
Any religious argument against LGBT folks works just as well on Ace folks. (Which is to say they don’t, but the people making the arguments think they do)
