I know you said you don’t like dating apps, but I would write them off completely. My partner and I met online (we’re both within a few years of your age), and one thing we both agree on is that dating apps are great for vetting a potential partner ahead of time. It’s frustrating to meet someone only to find out that they have/want kids (we don’t), don’t share any common interests, have opposing religious/political views, etc. By the time we actually met in person, we both already knew that we would at least get along as friends. It does seem that women tend to get a lot more “garbage” matches on online dating than men do, though; it probably also depends largely on where you live.

At work, at the gym, at the coffee shop, at the library. At yoga, at the beach, Pokemon go raid hour. Mostly at work, but I’m older than you and that’s where I meet people and have made friends as an adult.

Not all hobbies require money, that’s an odd take. I do think it’s harder to meet people when you don’t have a family though, that part is true, connections are made through other people so it’s more work to build a network if you are just one person.

Great age to meet men, though, if you are looking for that - don’t worry about your weight, plenty of guys either like a plush build or don’t care. You will do fine in that regard if you are looking.

This is pretty niche, but I’m in a casual curling league and nearly everyone is over 40. Everyone there is super welcoming and friendly.

Have you tried volunteering? Gets you out, you’d meet people with similar interests, and to top it off you’d be doing good in the community!

I would find a group or club related to hobbies you have. Hobbies can start as a common interest, and as you get to know each other, things can grow from there.

It’s not a guaranteed “relationship finder” but you’ll at the very least make some friends.

I hope it’s not too personal of a question to ask, but are you straight, lesbian, or bi? Because each one of those kind of comes with its own set of suggestions. You obviously do not have to share if you do not feel comfortable with that. I just don’t want to be giving a lesbian hints about finding a guy, you know?

If you’re up for it – try a fitness group, hiking group, or gym, you might not meet friends right away but any time you spend there will still feel good and be good for you

Or do I just give up?!

Whatever you do, don’t give up. Nobody deserves to live in loneliness. There are many like you out there - people are lonelier than ever before. Whatever you do, try to fight against that.

If the objective is “meeting people” in the dating sense, it’s usually going to be apps or singles events. Some apps are definitely better than others, so I wouldn’t just write them all off thinking they’re all like Tinder.

If dating is a nice-to-have outcome but you’re also happy to socialize, MeetUp is a great option. You can vet events based on something you’re already interested in, and meeting someone while doing it becomes secondary (and therefore less pressure). If there are no good candidates (or no chemistry), then at least you didn’t waste your night - you still got to play board games or make sourdough or whatever was going on.

Some suggestions, either online or local;

Bookclubs
Walking groups
Chess, board games, table top
Theater groups (meetup groups to go to the theater as a group)
Escape room group meetups.

Depending on if you are in a city or a smaller town the locals options will vary. I’d look at meetups site and browse local activities. For most any activity you will find a range of ages, but some will skew more one way than another.

Best of luck!

I met my partner via Hinge app. We started hanging out on a regular basis and the relationship happened organically over time.

The world of dating apps sucks these days. I liked when they were in the form of email. I would write long opening messages that revealed my personality and met people pretty easily. Now they’re modeled like test messages. I am not great a stupid small talk. It made things harder for me.

Good luck! It’s easy to feel down about meeting people at this age, but also one of my best friends is someone who I met via a dating app. We both knew we weren’t right romantically, but remained pals. She and her husband come join us for movie night and such. I guess I’m saying don’t lose hope.

Are you into bars at all? Finding a bar that already had regulars who are fun group is a pleasant way to make friends imo and you’ll meet people naturally once you know some people. All you have to do is scope out which one feels comfortable and visit at the same time each week. Obviously watch out for raging alcoholics, but lots of folks are healthy(ish) and just there for companionship.

Okay, this post is only an hour old but it already has a ton of replies. I reallly hope you see this, though. I’m going to GBF you for just a couple of minutes.

First of all - girl, seriously? 40 year olds go out all the time for drinks. You should try going out with friends so you can keep an eye on each other, but every bar go to is filled with people our age. I’m ten years older than you, and I in no way feel like an old man in a bar. If you have a next day recovery concern, just limit yourself, or go on the weekends. Just make sure you’re taking an Uber and if you’re doing solo yolo let a friend know where you’re going and let them track your phone or something.

Second, apps can be toxic but they can also be gamed. You’re looking for a silver fox type, maybe with a bit of a dad bod is my guess. Put out for some headshots or other pro photos. There’s even a lot of amateur photographers who you might be able to find on insta who would be happy to do a quick session for a modest amount of money. Do yourself a favor and get a serious makeover and some new outfits first, because it will make you feel like your best self.

Third, it’s okay to just be looking to get dicked down even while looking for something serious. Don’t hang everything on finding your next life partner if you really are just craving physical affection.

There are tons of 40+ men who are single due to similar circumstances to yours. They’re at bars, and they go to concerts at local venues. They’re probably not going to be at the clubs the 20-something’s go to, but they have their own territories.

It really sounds like you have to see yourself as your best self, and up your game with that confidence.

My mom does a book group.

Do they have to be in person?

I have a group of friends from Meetup (as others have suggested). One of them just got married for the first time at around 40. He met his wife via a friend who he also met from Meetup. Just a personal anecdote but I thought it would be helpful :)

Good luck!