I don’t mean actively trying to commit suicide or being careless and stupid, you know, just feeling like if I woke up tomorrow and said to me, “Oh hey, like, you died last night” I wouldn’t care.
Is this something serious? Should I seek help or consulting?
I’m nihilistic so keep that bias in mind with the rest of this:
Life is a beautiful nightmare. Death is inevitable and worrying about it does nothing positive for you. Enjoy the peace of mind that comes with accepting death before it comes 👍
"When everyone you’ve ever known
Is headed for a headstone
I don’t want to give the end away
But we’re gonna die one day "
- Smoke Alarm - Carsie Blanton
Sounds like good old classic depression, especially if you have stressors in your life.
Yeah, talk to someone. If you feel better, there you go. There’s tons of free crisis hotlines you can call up just to talk.
Talking’s great anyway, even if you aren’t depressed.
And apparently you can text 741741 the word home and they have a text helpline.
It could be passive suicidal ideation.
But a therapist would be a better resource than some guy on the internet.
That’s the thing though. If you fied, there’d be no waking up next morning, no entity expressing in some ethereal definitely not human language, “Oh hey, you died last night.”
It’s like that scene towards the end of Bojack Horseman, where he’s hallucinating a grand finale as his brain starts to die as he slowly drowns to death. He sees the ghost of his best friend being slowly consumed by a black oil like liquid coming from a door that is just filled with shadow, nothingness.
As the liquid consumes his friend, Bojack resigns himself to his fate, accepting his death and says, “Well…I’ll see you on the other side.” To which his friend responds somberly as his face begins to be enveloped by the oozing black liquid, “Oh Bojack, no…there is no other side…this is it.”
The remaining sequence shows that Bojack truly is afraid of the possibility of nonbeing, of there being no life or experiences after death. As he runs away from the oozing black liquid. He runs through scenes of his memories as they are consumed by the liquid…until eventually…he’s just…gone.
There’s more to the scene than that, but the apathy one has towards death is imho just another way you’re brain copes with it. You imagine it being like sleep, or a dream, or waking up to some new reality, when in fact your brain can’t fathom what it’s like to die because it can’t fathom not existing. Not really. I mean, is there endless shadow or endless light after death? Are not shadow and light interpretations of the experience of physical phenomenon. What makes you think that phenomenon exists after death and even if it does, what makes you think it js perceivable in a similar fashion. Is there even a you to perceive it?
I often find myself comforting myself at the thought of my own demise in a similar manner to what you describe, but ultimately I know I’m going to be scared to die when it actually is staring me in the face. It’s natural to fear the absolutely completely unknown.
I try and tell myself I’ll be otherwise. That death is possibly an exciting new adventure. But actually, my biggest fear is that we all died a long time ago and just aren’t aware of it, and that the only thing that is eternal is our own bearing witness to a never ending decay of our sense of self, and a never ending decent into madness.
Anywho, enjoy your supposed ambivalence towards your own demise.
Spoilers man.
Nah its old and i couldnt keep watching it because it was so depressing
Sounds like good old classic depression, especially if you have stressors in your life.
Yeah, talk to someone. If you feel better, there you go. There’s tons of free crisis hotlines you can call up just to talk.
Talking’s great anyway, even if you aren’t depressed.
And apparently you can text 741741 the word home and they have a text helpline.
Nah, we all come to terms with our mortality in our own ways. It doesn’t always stay the same, just to warn you, but reaching a point of accepting death as part of existence is not a problem.
Now, you may or may not also have some issue influencing this, but there’s no way to know that from here.
Would you say you’d feel relief in this scenario?
I mean yes, kinda. Not having to care about somethings would be relieving.
Then I would say maybe. Even more so if you ruminate on the idea often. Apparently fantasizing about not wanting to exist is a form of ideation.
Other than the typical “talk to a professional” i dont what else to say. I straight up have suicidal ideation where I consider offing myself every so often, depending on my situation. Not the best way to live, wouldnt recommend it.
If you do decide to see a therapist and they were to push antidepressants on you I would say be really careful, in my case it made my suicidal ideation 10 times worse, and after that it didnt do much else for me. And it’s hard to tell that it’s the drugs that are affecting your mental state because the effects are delayed.
Ego death? Psychedelics can be therapeutic for those with terminal illnesses.
