Can’t answer the title question from personal experience unfortunately, but I can say, only you can figure out what your end goal is. Relationships are different with every person. So if you find someone you enjoy their company, you don’t need to know beforehand what you want to do with them. It’s okay to figure it out as you go.

Obviously relationships are messy and complicated and varied, but generally the big difference is a commitment to a future together. For example, committed partners might pool finances, or have a kid together - the sort of things that you plan on working together on the rest of your life.

I’m wondering if you might find these a helpful starting point:

https://breezewiki.com/lgbtqia/wiki/Aromantic

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queerplatonic_relationship

Definitely varies for people, and there is actually a book coming out soon called “The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center” that you might find an interesting read.

For me, my fiancée is my best friend. Sure we’ve both had best friends before, but the connection was instant and way more intense than with anyone else for both of us. What makes our relationship different than a friendship is that we want to build a life together, we’re a team, we’re each eachother’s top priority, and, yes like most relationships there’s a physical aspect to it, amongst other things. The phrase ‘she’s my person’ really encompasses what it feels like, personally anyway.

If somethings right, you’ll feel it. When you find someone that sparks a connection beyond just friends, you’ll know. And if that never happens, don’t be too hard on yourself and start thinking there’s something wrong with you. Being neurodivergent and on the asexual / aromantic spectrum can make these questions harder, if they apply. Just do what feels right and don’t over think it too much. Easier said than done, I know

I’m not sure I have much to add here other then a little experience. I’ve had a date tell me “there’s nothing there” and realized later that they wanted more than a friend. I am fairly old and have realized that I may not have much to give, romantically. That’s fine! But you have to find someone who wants that, also. Myself, I am not really a dater. But if you can see that some people want something more than a friend, more than a friend and sex, you may find where you fit in. I am still working on that. Not easy, but I am also pretty happy on my own. It is good, and healthy, to work on you, and this post is part of that I think. Be well!

I think for me, relationships are having a good friend with benefits.

I’ve had a few serious relationships and at the time I’ve felt like they’re the person I want to do things with, not ‘things’, just things.

I don’t try to fuck my friends hah. I can sit for hours with my SO and not utter a word and just do my shit. I don’t have to be on and allowed to be irritable.

To me, the key difference is just how much you can be yourself around that person, without any feeling of self consciousness or shame. Even with very good friends, there are still things about yourself (physical or otherwise) that you don’t let them see.

Also, my wife IS my best friend.

I feel like a good SO is just a best friend with benefits. Someone you can do all the same stuff as a bestie with, and feel the same way around, but you also are sexually attracted and fuck.

It’s very exclusive and more intimate physically and emotionally than a good friend. That’s my interpretation anyway.

besides you know what). And should it be?

We’re adults here. You can say the word sex on the internet, and yes.

To me, it seems like you may not be the type of person that feels like they need intimacy. If you want it, however, then that should be ok too. That is a major difference (for many) in people who are in relationships, and people who are just good friends. It’s not the sole defining characteristic, no, but a big one none-the-less.

…they just want a one particular friend with benefits

Why can’t it be both though? I think there’s nothing wrong with that, in my mind. I suppose a big consideration would be if you live together or not, or want to/plan to.

Another thing to consider is that SO relationships are typically seen as more static/permanent while good friends are considered more dynamic/fleeting.

In my experience, relationships (all relationships) are more dynamic than static. Realities of our mortality.

allow me to sum up interpersonal relationships between all 8 billion people in one sentence:
you can’t

but, in a nutshell… physical attraction is usually important, so is romance… usually a commitment to this person in terms of time and future plans where they become more like family (and maybe eventually actually family if you have kids)

there’s such a crazy spectrum of the ways in which people could get along and consider themselves “in a relationship”.
every rule or tendency is constantly broken, it escapes definition.
in general, it begins with attraction and flirting, or it’s cemented as a friendship…
and, poetically, i’d say it’s a relationship when they start to see themselves as an entity, and of course others will see them like that too… a sort of hive-mind develops…
sorta like when celebrity couples get a combo nickname…

You can bone them regularly without making things awkward

An SO will align their goals with you. A best friend may find another goal in life and go off on their own. A friend isn’t tied to you, and you’d support them if they ‘leave’ you to seek their own fortune. A partner stays with you and you and they need to find ways to reach your goals together. There’s a stability and security to a partner that you don’t get, no matter how close your friend is.

Well basically love is a form of psychosis where someone becomes the most important thing to you and your whole reality bends around that. You feel a deep abiding satisfaction and comfort just being in their presence or hearing their voice. Your personal identity becomes secondary to your shared identity as a couple and your connection to them is a core part of your emotional state and thought process. Anything that contradicts being with or caring for them is basically impossible to even think. This can be really wonderful or really horrible depending on the circumstances.

Do you want a relationship, even if it means you’re only friends? Does sex have to be involved to make it a relationship?