Turns out the reply in my thread telling me the best way to combat not caring about Linux is to care about Linux was absolutely correct.
I picked up a laptop, installed Linux Mint Cinnamon, and I’m already obsessed. I haven’t had this much fun with a PC in a long time and it’s just a cheapo Dell Inspiron 3520.
By simply installing and configuring Arch, one can learn a lot about GNU/Linux. Even when OP won’t use Arch as primary OS, it’s a valuable experience.