Turns out the reply in my thread telling me the best way to combat not caring about Linux is to care about Linux was absolutely correct.
I picked up a laptop, installed Linux Mint Cinnamon, and I’m already obsessed. I haven’t had this much fun with a PC in a long time and it’s just a cheapo Dell Inspiron 3520.
Could be just them sharing the wiki with em (which is a great companion to ANY Linux Distro. Arch or non-Arch, a lotta the stuff there can be very helpful), but…feel like it’s a bit early to be doing that IMO. “Start em young” and all that, sure, but also let them learn, fail, and get into messes themselves first, ya know