As a kid that used be the question that made me panic. Some teacher or parent would ask “What’s up?” In a casual manner and I would just freeze. To this day I have no idea what the proper response is. I assume it isn’t to start talking about orbits.
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This is one of those frustrating social conventions that’s partly a greeting and partly a way to find out if you’re busy (particularly if they are asking if you’re in the middle of doing something or are speaking to the other person on the phone/via message where they can’t see what you’re doing).
A good response, as mentioned in another reply here, is “Not much. You?” or “Not much - how about yourself?” if you haven’t done anything out of the ordinary or aren’t really busy.
If you have done something that you think the other person might find interesting, though, give them a brief answer, e.g. “Oh, just had lunch at a new restaurant. The food was great.” Keeping it short then allows the other person to either ask a follow-up question if they are actually interested, or to move the conversation along to the actual topic they wanted to discuss with you.
If you are actually busy and in the middle of a task, then a short and polite response and suggestion to reschedule works, e.g. “Sorry, just in the middle of painting the spare room… can I get back to you tonight?”
The normal response is, “Not much”
“Not much. You?” If you don’t have much going on.
“Not much, just finishing up this essay before I head to soccer.” If you are doing something that might interest the person asking, or to explain your presence somewhere you aren’t usually.
The person is just checking in with you. It’s basically “hello”
Nuffin’ much.
Alternatively,
Chickenbutt
I colloquially prefer “notta whole lotta.”
“what’s up!”
It’s like a ping pong.
Just reply back “hey”. No one is looking for a real reply.
The parent of one of my friends growing up wanted a actual reply. He asked me “What’s up?” every time we met. I would try to answer and he would try to get me to explain what I was up to. He had good intentions but it was a bit traumatic
I look up, then answer the question. Usually by saying, “the ceiling”.
If it’s someone that gets “the ceiling” often, sometimes I’ll switch it up by describing the type of ceiling. Or a light fixture. The sky. Squint and say, “I think it’s a spider.”
When I was little I used to get confused and look up at the ceiling.
What do you mean? They obviously want to hear a summary of what you’ve been up to since you last met.
That would take me a ramble or two
“No, Signal”
That’s pretty good actually. I might use that at a cyber event.
My flatmate says this whenever he comes in. I think he’s just saying hello, but I always end up explaining in detail whatever nerdy shit I’m doing at that moment.
There’s a ton of nuance here depending on how it’s said. “What’s up” can be said so fast as a greeting that another “What’s up?” is an appropriate response, or my favorite “sup?” Or, it can be asked kind of carefully that it expects an actual answer. Either way, no response is really wrong, but can increase awkwardness if not answering in the expected way.
Livin’ the dream
But what if I am not living the dream?
You say it sarcastically.
Oh
Only time I say that shit
Just chillin
I usually hit em with the old
WE MEET AGAIN
