Rules: explain why
Ready player one.
That has to be one of the cringiest movies I’ve seen, is tries so hard, too hard with it’s “WE LOVE YOU NERD, YOU’RE SO COOL FOR PLAYING GAMES AND GETTING THIS 80S REFERENCE” message and the whole “corporation bad, the people good” narrative seems written for toddlers… The fan service feels cheap and adds nothing to the story.
Finally, they trying to make the people believe that very attractive girl with a barely visible red tint spot on her face is “ugly”… Like wtf?
Yet it received decent reviews plus being one of the most successful movies of that year.
Se7en
Hated everything about it. Predictable all the way through the big reveal at the end. I don’t understand the appeal.
Joker
I thought it was pretentious, had no real story and pretty much just milked the gritty batman of the already not great nolan movies
I know I’ll get shit, but Pulp Fiction sucks. It’s not about anything, Bruce Willis adds nothing to the film at all, and it’s confusing to watch without having any real reason to be or payoff.
The worst part is that it’s one of those things where if you don’t like it, the fans just belittle you and claim you’re “Just not smart enough to get it man.” or they’ll be passive aggressive about it. “Oh it’s okay, my ditzy blonde girlfriend doesn’t get it either.” or “Not every movie can be about guns and shit, I know you stopped paying attention after the opening.”
It’s a shame because it was hyped up to me as one of the best movies of all time, and I try to watch it thinking this time it will click, this time I can see what the fuss is about.
And each time, it’s just as terrible as I remember for all the same reasons as last time.
While on this subject It’s a TV Show and not a movie, but I legitimately believe Andor is one of the worst pieces of Star Wars media ever created and if given the choice I’d sooner watch the Holiday Special because at least it’s entertainingly bad. Instead of being a god damn hour straight of characters marching like they’re at a military parade just to get to a boring shoot-out at a heist where everyone dies, only unlike when everyone dies in the heist in Solo, I don’t shed a single tear because everyone involved with said heist has done absolutely nothing but bitch at Andor for not being “one of the cool kids” so if I’m feeling any emotion it’s annoyance that my time getting to know these losers was completely wasted and relief that such unlikable characters are dead.
But hey, at least it only ruined Cassian Andor, it could have ruined someone who’s been in more than one movie like Book of Boba Fett did. Ya know what Boba Fett’s “book” is called in this show; Character Assassination: A How-To Guide
I don’t know how you ruin a character who’s done nothing but say “He’s no good to me dead” in one movie, and have a retconned-in-most-continuities death in the next, but leave it to Disney’s second Dark Age to find a way. But hey, at least every one agrees that Book of Boba Fett is trash instead of kissing the ground it walks on like Andor. So there’s that.
Andor is a show so bad that there’s a character named Cyril who’s entire existence is dedicated to scenes where he eats Cereal. Absolute trash.
Anyway getting back to how the pulp of orange juice is more fun to watch than Pulp Fiction, Quentin Tarantino is a hack who sucks at every aspect of film making that isn’t writing dialogue. Resevoir Dogs was okay though.
Anything by JJ Abrams. He only knows how to start his shitty mystery box plots but never finish them.
The princess bride, mostly because everyone my age won’t shut up about it. By the time I saw the movie (I think I was 16?) it was like watching a string of cheesy memes.
Also, it’s a wonderful life is so frustrating and depressing, the “happy ending” just doesn’t cut it.
Much of this thread be like…
Titanic.
Why? Hmmm, hard to say. Seems obvious to me. I’m totally ok with a love story but I don’t really care for romance stories. Let me explain the difference to me. I’m not saying this is a formal definition. To me a love story is drama and romance is melodrama. It felt more like melodrama to me.
And to interest the men, let’s throw in a disaster flick. If people fall off the boat and hit the propeller on the way down, men will love it and women will love the rest. No pandering at all.
Plus screw the priceless gem, just toss it overboard.
I learned, back in the 1990s, how to spot a movie I won’t like. So for me it’s The Edge (about a thoroughly dislikable protagonist who we’re supposed to admire just because he’s played sympathetically by Anthony Hopkins) and Accidental Hero (aka Hero, a satire so brimming with sickly earnestness that it fails completely at satire).
Tolkein.
I tried watching the new tolkein Rohirrim movie. There were clues I would hate it already, but they started with one of those ‘tolkein songs’ like by elves or whatever ~one of the ones where he’s like modeling the dialect on some euro language and being a nerd with glasses in the library holding up a schematic of what he just made and being like, “it’s music”. So it started with that and I was done. did not get past opening song.
The Batman. Robert Pattinson is not that great of an actor and I still can’t unsee him as that stupid vampire. I know he doesn’t care of the role either, but it really ruins the flow trying to imagine him as Bruce Wayne but all I can see is that cringey vampire. And then it’s just another fucking Batman movie as if we haven’t already had 10 other ones played by 12 different actors already, not including the TV show adaptations and cartoons too. DC needs to seriously stick with one adaptation and go with that or make some about some of the lesser known comic characters.
I know it’s the one that is more closely aligned to the comics and he is actually being a detective. But it was so boring and uninteresting.
I remember sitting in the theater and I kept checking my watch for when it would be over. I was with other people and also was curious how it would end. But it kept dragging on much longer than it should have.
I’ve tried rewatching it since but I still can’t get into it.
That movie is so slow and boring. Not terrible but can’t touch the greatness of Nolan’s trilogy. It has better colours, that’s about it.
I thought the Batman was meh, but I reckoned that was partly because I’m not into comics and their storytelling. I couldn’t get into those Sin City movies mainly for that. And I enjoyed Chinatown, it’s not a noir knock. Or maybe it is, I dunno.
I enjoyed Pattinson in Good Time and The Lighthouse. I think he did with the role what could be done. I also think it’s difficult to come out from under a series like Twilight.
I always felt like The Batman was just a boring remake of The Crow.
The Batman Animated Series had both a Batman that’s primarily a detective that’s not that good a fighter and it was still engaging and entertaining without being so slow.
Then again that show was driven by a dream team from the voice actors to the music and art direction. Sad to say WB cut down on budget animation half way in and it really shows.
Elf.
Inception. Hard to explain why. Interesting visual fx with a weird plot played by admittably world class actors.
The Matrix
I thought it was tedious, self-satisfied nonsense. Some impressive visual effects and a bit of half-baked philosophy did not a good movie make. Everything about it seemed to be focused on being cool, rather than telling a decent story.
The matrix is good precisely because they don’t spoon feed everything to you.
The matrix trilogy is an excellent story. And I cannot agree with you. I’m sure you don’t wanna hear an essay about it though. Everything fits so well and it’s full of significance. The ending of it was brilliant.
They fucked up with that cringe 4th movie though
The first movie was okay, but they dropped the ball on 2 and 3 in my opinion. They weren’t bad but definitely not what I’d consider brilliant.
I enjoyed the 2nd, but 3rd just missed the mark completely.
1st: Yes, let’s explore this rabbit hole
2nd: Let’s explore it some more and progress the story
3rd: same as 2nd but neo becomes wizard Jesus when blind, apparently.
Iirc, the 4th movie was intentionally bad and meant to be a bomb because the wachowski sister that did come back only did so that no one else would touch their story.
Intentionally bad still bad. And a middle finger to the fans, plus stealing their money
The movie literally tells you what it is doing at the start when Neo talks to that CEO person. “We’re making this with or without you.” I didn’t really like it either until it turned into a heist movie halfway through and I got it. She was just taking the piss. It’s not a FU to the fans but to Warner Brothers.
The people paid to see the movie, a good movie
Yeah but did we really expect it to actually be good?
Ironically if you accept it’s a “fuck you” film, like you’ve been invited round to the wachowskis to watch one of the their random side projects it becomes enjoyable again
That’s the only way to enjoy it imo. If you watch it seriously you’ll be like, wtf is this shit. But if you imagine the wachowski being like, look at this bullshit I made them do, it becomes a sort of meta comedy. I am not joking when I say I was in a state of bewilderment before the heist scene. Then I busted out laughing because of how ridiculous it was and the movie became enjoyable.
The irony is the matrix has always been “meta”. Repeatedly breaking out of each paradigm to show you the last one was an illusion. So in a weird way it is a proper sequel, just not in a way that anyone’s going to like.
I didn’t see it, but IMO based on your description the appropriate thing to do would be to make the best movie she could, or to have refused, even if that meant them making it without her. Taking up the offer of making the movie and then deliberately doing a bad job is a giant “fuck you” to everyone who bought tickets.
(If they did make it without her, it might still have been bad or even undermined her intentions with the franchise, but at least her name would be clear. And fans are very good at saying “yeah no we don’t consider these corporate-made extensions of the auteur’s world to be very good. We consider it a separate canon.” Look at Star Wars, or the Dune novels after Frank Herbert’s death, or how people were reacting to Netflix’s Avatar after Mike & Brian left the production even before it released.)
There’s a whole story to this movie. I’m sure someone’s made a 3 hour deep dive into it explaining why she did it and what the studio was doing, but I think she saw the script they were pushing and just couldn’t let them make it. I don’t think the movie is bad bad, it just doesn’t make any gd sense unless you watch it through the lense of this wachowski sister going through transitioning and dealing with the loss of several close people. She’s just slapping random shit together because it made her feel good.
I completely understand why huge matrix fans wouldn’t like it though. They didn’t sign up for a meta commentary on Hollywood and trans people. But as more of these completely shit super hero movies come out the more I can appreciate what she did.
The Matrix is great, it has some good explanation of philosophical concepts, yet is action packed and intelligent.
The rest of the trillogy, just meh…
The. rest. of. the. trilogy. is. also. widely. panned…
Do you mean just the first one or the trilogy as a whole?
I thought the first one stood up far far better on its own rather, many things left unsaid, rather than the rest which tried to fill out the story, and not too well
I mean the first one, as I’ve never seen the others :-)
I get that many people do like it, and that’s all good, but I dislike how it often seems to be verboten to say even the slightest negative thing about the film.
Disney’s Hercules.
Because it completely butchers greek mythology. Of course, that’s to be expected from a kid’s movie (especially Disney) but I’ve been a greek mythology fan from an early age and this movie really disappointed me as a child.
Zeus being a caring father?
And a loyal husband ha
The cycle:
Step 1: (as a child) “wow this movie was great, I love Greek stuff!”
Step 2: learns a ton about Greek mythology over the next many years due to interest sparked by the movie
Step 3: (likely as a teenager or older, re-watching it one day) “holy shit this movie is absolutely nothing like Greek mythology, why did I ever think it was good…”
I’ve rewatched some of the old Disney classics and I was thoroughly disappointed by Hercules. I personally don’t care that much about the mythological accuracy of it but it was just kind of meh my memorys of the movie were much better.
This was a really popular opinion at the time if I recall.
Counterpoint: it’s one of the better Disney movies IMO. The gospel soundtrack slaps, and Danny DeVito, James Woods, and Susan Egan are all perfect in their roles.
Also, I blame Meg at least in part for my lifelong weakness for skinny dark-haired sarcastic women. But that’s on me.
I’m not sure if you’re saying my opinion was popular at the time- I’ve never met anyone in person who agreed with me, not then and not now either. Occasionally some people say, “ok, I get what you mean” but they don’t really share my opinion. Most of the times I get “what? Hercules? Such a great movie!”.
And fair enough, I’m not saying it’s a bad movie, simply that I was thoroughly disappointed which isn’t the same. Objectively the art direction is really good, the voice acting and animation is solid, and yes the soundtrack was also objectively good but unfortunately not my type, what can I say. It’s just not a movie for me.
James Cameron’s Avatar series.
Then again… Does anyone actually like it? It seems to have all this online hype when it’s such a boring visual spectacle.
It’s like the opposite of the other Avatar franchise, which wasn’t a commercial hit, and seems less popular on paper, but seems to have a massive cultural impact.
