Lemmy reacts to a non-sexualized silly outfit pic in a totally normal way…
Previous posts in this series…
- incredible find: https://lemmy.cafe/post/10217719
- epic ratio: https://lemmy.cafe/post/9597634
- lemmy is a worse platform for women than reddit was: https://lemmy.cafe/post/4821164
You must log in or register to comment.
If people act like that on 196, please report it
yas qaz
goated mod 👑
What happens when you group all chronically online nerds in one place (twice not going outside and talking to girls)
I’m Terminally online and don’t talk to girls. I know that its fucking disrespectful to talk like that.
tbh put some respect on the name of chronically online nerds- that describes like a ton of my friends who would never say this shit lmao
these guys are like a really sad subsection of that group
Might start with the letter I and end with the letter L
i mean… might.
men with wives and girlfriends can also participate in misogyny. i think the blanket association of sexist man=incel isn’t as constructive as confronting the hurtful behavior head on.
i mean, i haven’t participated in sex in over a year and i don’t need to go online to harass women, your right.
Shit misogynists say
Which instance was this on?
!lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world which someone else said has a problem with this sort of thing. wasn’t personally aware it was localized.
.world users suck compared to blahaj.zone. With .ml, you get tankies, but with .world, you get more transphobes and lib normies. I spend all my time here, getting shocked by what’s normalized when I visit other instances. The people here can be horny, but are much more likely to respect boundaries if told.
Those are yucky comments anywhere other than an lemmynsfw community or a community with a suggestive name. I can’t glean much context from this screenshot of the post but in general, I believe horniness should be kept to horny online places.
We can and should do much better than that.
can i still UwU
hello UwU
⊔ш⊔ goodbye
:'(
¿ₒₗₗǝₕ ౷_౷
)_) T-T
ᑎʍᑎ
you ain’t got nothin’ on me, copper
acab!
based and kindnesspilled
Those are yucky comments anywhere other than an lemmynsfw community or a community with a suggestive name.
Or RoastMe if Lemmy has such community, but basically all such communities require you hold up a sign with your username to prove it is actually yourself (good).
i miss [bigotry showcase] it made me feel like i was on the sane part of the internet
Reminds me of the days of circlebroke and srs. It was always nice realizing that I wasn’t alone in thinking the comments of a post on my frontpage were rancid.
I’d offer to maintain something similar myself but I know myself well enough that it would slip my mind after a few weeks.
I love all these comments like this woman is asking, cares, or is even interested. “I totally probably would.” Okay, but would she??? Why do they think this woman wants to be someone’s last call when she could be someone’s first choice? If I looked at a picture of a regular guy and my fat ass was like, “Hmm, I mean, if I was drunk, and I had no options, I guess I’d take him home” I’d be dragged, and rightfully so. 😂
the guy who made that comment is in this post right now saying “you don’t know the women or NBs i associate with [or if i make them uncomfortable]”
meanwhile in this post are several women and NBs saying “yeah that made me uncomfortable” 😭 listening to women is hard for misogynistic actors i guess.
fortunately the mods over at !lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world are doing their job to wack this guy.
Oh hey, I’m in this screenshot making an off-color comment. We can debate misogyny and such, probably won’t be very productive.
The thing I find interesting in this: “Italians Do It Better” is an inherently sexual statement. Everyone knows that IT is sex and maybe some other reference with this style of bumper sticker meme. That’s what makes it funny. So then, is it wrong to make a sexual joke about someone who is wearing a funny sexual statement? I don’t think so.
If she were wearing a plain tee or some other logo, I wouldn’t make a sexual joke. This feels like white knight silliness to me.
your attitude makes the places you go unbearable. do better.
You don’t know me or the women and NBs I associate with. Thanks for playing.
Which one was yours? Looks like the mods agree it wasn’t conducive to the environment they want.
Would you proudly tell the women and enbies in your life about the comment on a woman’s body you left on the internet? And ultimately even if, in the context of a friendship, and the folks you associate with, this would be taken well, don’t you think it’s worth listening when people say you’re being creepy and off putting?
I mean, I still totally probably would.
Back in my drinking days, I definitely would have taken her home at last call.
I didn’t comment about her body in that comment.
Anyhow, with caveats, I would totally make that comment in front of the right crowd. I’ve been to a lot of kink parties and drag shows. Cis-het peeps don’t have a monopoly on catty coments.
If someone wears a shirt with a sexual statement on it, then others will make sexual statements about them.
I didn’t even think about the Luigi/Italian thing until I read it in a comment. To me, that shirt said that she has sex better than people who aren’t Italian.
I did make a deleted comment referring to her Botox or plastic surgery and that I considered it a red flag. I find uncanny valley plastic surgery profoundly unattractive. I don’t remember exactly what I said. It was flippant and arguably objectification.
So, I misread the room and my joke was poorly received. I haven’t read the rules for shitposting or whatever and would not be surprised if I violated a rule.
From my view, the shirt with a funny sexual statement invites other sexual statements. I think that anyone that denies that the slogan is a double entendre is naive at best. The level of outrage amusing.
What gross things to say.
I didn’t comment about her body in that comment.
Ah so when you replied to someone commenting on her body and face saying that you would “still” have sex with her after drinking, that was a comment on her deep and rich personality? Just because you didn’t literally mention her body in it doesn’t make the comment not about her body, and I think you know that.
with caveats … in front of the right crowd.
Maybe a public forum with a person you don’t know is not the right place to make those.
I’ve been to a lot of kink parties and drag shows.
No one is impressed by “I have a black friend”, stop using is as justification.
Cis-het peeps don’t have a monopoly on catty coments.
No one said they did, and if you want to get into the weeds of this, folks that are also subjugated under patriarchy share a kinship and an understanding of the contexts and ways ‘catty’ comments should be made. Maybe going to a couple drag shows doesn’t give you the proper context to understand what justifies a ‘catty’ comment. Maybe a random internet commenter saying they “still would” doesn’t come off as a clever fun sassy razzing all the drag queens do. Maybe instead it sounds like basement dweller saying “she’s not hot like the chicks I jerk off to, but I guess I would still fuck her”.
I did make a deleted comment referring to her Botox or plastic surgery and that I considered it a red flag. I find uncanny valley plastic surgery profoundly unattractive. I don’t remember exactly what I said. It was flippant and arguably objectification.
Wow, I am so proud of you for realizing how wildly disgusting this comment is before leaving it up for too long. I would suggest you grow as a person and have that realization when you think it, and guide yourself away from being a creep.
From my view, the shirt with a funny sexual statement invites other sexual statements.
It doesn’t. Stop.
“if i was at a kink party or drag show” ITS A SILLY MEME SUBCOMM NOT A BURLESQUE SHOW FUNK OFF 😭
call me insane, but i want to be able to click on a silly image of a niche micro celebrity i love for her persona doing an incredibly tame expression of her sexuality and not be subjected to 6+ comments about how you “totally would” and “boobs lol” comments. go repost to r/celebsnsfw or wherever and make those comments in that context if you absolutely can’t keep it in your pants.
thanks for your comment ❤️
The IT is vague and open-ended, not inherently sexual. Its inherently ambiguous and people fill in the blank with whatever is being referenced. We really don’t know what IT means to the person wearing it, but you chose to make it sexual.
I assumed IT in this post was referring to murdering CEOs.
This format of tagline has been around since like the 70s. The IT is inherently sexual. Usually something like, “Diamond Cutters Do It Harder.”
It’s a double entendre and isn’t funny without the sexual subtext.
So, unless there was a convention to redifine this joke that I didn’t hear about; yeah, it’s sexual. Anything else is just trying to contort common social mores to fit an agenda.
If it was a big hairy guy wearing a shirt that said “Bears Do It Better” I would also expect sexual jokes.
I don’t view it as being sexual. Too many people wear this corpo slogan as if it’s just “proud to be X.” It could be sexual, but unless I see other things that go with being overt, fun, sexual, joking, then I can’t really make the conclusion.
I’m not saying everyone should think like that, just that plenty of people can see a woman wearing “Italians do it better” and not think sex.
And I’m far from being an ace. No idea why it doesn’t sound like sex to me.
I don’t know how to tell you this, but when people refer to “doing it” without any additional context, there talking about sex. The shirt is undeniably sexual.
The shirt doesn’t say “doing it”, it says “do it”
So apparently Nike is a sex thing now
Related to the previous posts bit, but I remember first seeing the Man vs. Bear memes.
I’ll admit it was hard not to take it personally at first, because even if you agreed with the core of the message, it feels like you’re being lumped in with the worst of menkind for no good reason. That’s probably why the reaction was so toxic, because people just replied with their gut reaction, which was to take offence…
But upon giving it a bit of thought, I realised that as a guy who’s lived in some dodgy areas, I think I too would oftentimes prefer to take my chances with a bear than alone with a stranger at night - not cause I think I’d beat the bear, but at least you know what the bear’s probably gonna do…
And if I feel that way being a man, then considering (on average) women are weaker than men of the same build, I can see why women would feel that way too.
Indian metal band Bloodywood has the best take on the “all men” issue:
Not all men?
Yes all men!
Need all men for what we’re solving
Can’t be what it’s been but we’re evolvingThe patriarchy privileges every man, which means every man needs to fight the system. If every man who hears the message and isn’t an abuser stands up and does something, we can end the patriarchy. It’s not “every man is guilty”, it’s “every man is responsible, and we can end it together.”
And the rest of the song is about punching rapists.
this is so sick ty for sharing
Fuck every man for himself
It’s every man for every man
And everybody else
Everybody else🤘😫
By the way, their most popular song is about politicians who use religion to divide people. It’s called Gadaar, which is Hindi for Traitor.
What’s the name of the song?
Dana dan
I agree with this and I have absolutely no desire to undermine the problems that women face. However I think it is also important to understand how many men also feel oppressed by the patriarchy as well. Obviously women have been and continue to be oppressed to a far greater and much more literal degree, but so many men feel this immense pressure to “be a man.” This frustration at feeling inadequate because of these immense pressures is what makes so many men as dangerous and unpredictable as they are. I really think this is a major part of the issue, we need more men to stand up and realize that they don’t have to conform to some shitty societal idea of what masculinity should be, same as how women have been fighting against their own traditional gender roles. Any man who can feel secure in being himself regardless of society’s expectations should help the men in his life to understand the same. Maybe then we’d have less insecure, dangerous men running around.
Oh yeah Bloodywood get that. They’re an all male band. They also have songs about struggling with suicide and living your own truth
(In Hindi:)
I am not voiceless, I am endurant
I m not a stray rock, I am the founding stone of a mountain
I am not weak, I am forgiving
Within darkness, I am my own lightThey are the most positive male role models you can imagine, openly talking about personal struggle and about the things they told themself to overcome those struggles.
And they also think the working class should rise up and redistribute wealth. They’ve used the proceeds from their tours to help homeless animals and pay for counselling for young people. They say if the conditions faced by the poorest in society don’t change, the owning class should expect a riot. “No flag on my bulletproof vest”.
I know you probably didn’t mean it like this, but I’m one of those people who “realized” I didn’t need to conform to being traditionally masculine, and this is definitely not something the average person can or should do. If you don’t try your best at “being a man,” When you’re younger other men will bully you, most women will either think there’s something wrong with you or not want to talk to you, and your parents will wonder what they’re doing wrong. Even people with super accepting parents end up feeling weirded out by “non manly” people because it’s not the norm. When you get older a lot of these issues get easier because you can choose who you associate with, but I still get people either commenting or treating me worse because I’m not “manly” enough, almost never the opposite.
I have no idea what to do about this, I’m just saying living as a not traditionally “manly” will have the general population treating you worse for your whole life, and you’re either strong enough to deal with that and stick with only the people who don’t care about it, or you go back to being “manly”
This is actually literally exactly what I’m talking about. We need more people to realize that not conforming to gender roles, masculine or feminine, does not make you a worse person. How many terrible men do you think wanted to express themselves their way but had that individuality beaten out of them? What do you think that does to a person? I am certain there is a good portion of men who learned very early on to hate men who do not behave as men should, and therefore hate themselves for not conforming to this ideal. I’m sure these men have lashed out in terrible ways which only goes to feed the justified fear people have of this culture of masculinity and the people it creates. Everyone in this is a victim, even if they don’t know it.
hell yeah dude. it’s an uncomfortable conclusion to draw, but it’s an uncomfortable reality we live in.
it feels like you are being lumped in with the worst of menkind for no good reason.
Before I realized I was trans I also got super upset at being lumped in with bad men (although with an additional different reason that I didn’t understand at the time), and that feeling is absolutely terrible, because you’re basically getting shit on just for existing.
From my perspective as a woman it seems like there are a lot of shitty dudes out there. After I realizing I’m trans it became a lot easier to notice misogyny since it now affects me. I did notice before, but when something affects you specifically you notice it a lot more. I also didn’t fully understand how weak women are compared to men until I started taking estrogen. Just being near a man I don’t know well or at all is very scary because of how easily he could overpower me.
If I am getting a random bear vs a random man I would definitely take the bear just because I feel like the risk of getting a bad man is too high. If I could pick a specific man, I definitely would pick my father or a friend because I know they are good men and I feel safe around them.
I think some outrage could have been avoided if the question was worded just a bit better, although I think part of why it got so popular is because of the outrage it caused.
I’m glad that every time I see a “girls are boring/well-adjusted, boys are quirky” meme format someone has already commented on that, but it always comes with multiple “it’s just a meme dude, don’t overthink it” responses.
Something something bear
thats what happens when you build a community with a large percentage of shut-in nerds and software devs (speaking as one of the latter)
This is essentially why I’d like more “normies” here
(or option 2: maybe I should just avoid online spaces with the (sexist/weird) kind of people I avoid IRL)yeah, i try to think of it as an opportunity. i usually try to focus my efforts on encouraging growth and recognizing the hurt thats caused.
The only thing I could think of when I saw that was worry about her own self-image… obviously won’t comment trash like that unless providing context to further thoughts -
So long as she’s happy or in the pursuit of her own personal happiness (even if not and just doing what she can do get through this shitty life,) whatever she looks like is none of my fucking business ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Sucks to think of the unnecessary abuse she has to put up with from day to day.
fortunately i don’t think she browses lemmy, and i’ve the comments under the original video from where the image was pulled—they are all much kinder.
which is good news for her but the fact there was such a big pattern here is deeply troubling.
I saw this very post just a few moments ago. Holy shit, these guys can’t keep it in their pants.
i fail to understand how i am very respectable when i try to find a girlfriend yet this misogyny is widely celebrated by some men and some women find it acceptable. is somthing wrong with me?
Women are not a monolith and not all admiration of physical attributes is misogyny.
If you see it as work or effort to not post online about random peoples physical attributes when you see a picture of them, then yea you should look at yourself a bit. It shouldn’t feel like you deserve a reward for not being like that.
I don’t feel like i diverse a reward, and if the comments are reserved to a place where it’s consensual, i don’t see an issue. but imagine your picture was being shared online and people who have no idea are, make comments like this about you? wouldn’t you feel a bit upset about that?
Yes, that is absolutely unacceptable. But that has nothing to do with your personal situation and I would say it is unhealthy to relate the two.
maybe i just have a different view on things.
You have a common and problematic view of things. You asked if you are doing something wrong, it looks like you probably are. I’d advise you question your worldview a bit and talk honestly with folks you feel you can respect on how they got from where you are to where they are.
