Pro tip: Use the cheapest bags to maximize plastic consumption!
Hamburger is body parts, just squashed
I bought a small pack of hamburger at the grocery store once. Same foam tray but it just wasn’t overstuffed like so many are. The checkout girl, holding this, says of it “I don’t understand why they underpackage it like this.” and I say “Well some of us are bachelors and will only eat a pound of burger before it goes bad.”
I think the young people enjoy it when I get down verbally, don’t you?
A trick you can adapt is one my family often did with wild meat.
You freeze a big block of meat, beef or whatever you have. It doesn’t matter how big it is as long as it doesn’t have a bone in it.
When you go to use it, you bring out the entire frozen block and you just shave off slices like a block of wood with a big carving knife or butcher blade. Sometimes mom would just a very sharp axe if the block was too solidly frozen. Then once you got enough of what you needed, you wrap up the frozen block and put it back again. This method allows you keep a large frozen block and use it again and again without have to wait to thaw the whole thing. You only carve off what you need for the meal and then keep the rest frozen. The thin shavings of meat are quick to cook and don’t need thawing.
Meat = body parts, so techinically not even a joke.
I know the joke is human parts…
Sure it is buddy, sure it is.
You should not freeze raw minced meat. Fry it first.
I think technically if you can get it from a butcher minced that day, you should be good to freeze it on the same day
Not so much supermarket mince
Why?
I prepared it with spices, made Pattys out of it and vacuumed it. Tasted fine but maybe I am not aware of some unhealthy component?
I’ve done the same with burger patties and meatballs I made. Never had any problems. Hell you can buy uncooked frozen burger patties and meatballs at the store.
Why won’t someone answer these whys?!
I am completely befuddled by it.
Because they’re full of shit
Sure, if you don’t plan on feeding it to your victims…
Why?
What does it matter if you freeze raw mince. You’re cooking it after anyways.
I’ve also never understood when people say you should NEVER consume meat frozen past x months…like, it doesn’t matter. It’s quality/flavor/appearance that degrades. It doesn’t make it lethal or make you sick.
Lol wat? Freezing ground meat is perfectly safe as long you cook it completely.
“By hamburgers in bulk and flatten”
Just buy some mince and learn how to cook
Who has time to cook when there is prostitute murdering to be done?
If you murder a prostitute make sure you pay them first so you’re not shoplifting too.
Only commit one crime at a time.
Good advice! Also be sure to get a receipt.
Make sure to use every part though. Prostitute stock is the best.
Learning to cook prostitutes, tell you when I’m done?
No it says “buy hamburger” as in hamburger meat. Ground beef.
Had to look this up, because I’d seen it before but didn’t want to accuse Americans of being crazy without proof:
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hamburger
1 a: ground beef
1 b: a patty of ground beefThe meme says singular “hamburger”, so it makes sense that they meant it in the ground beef sense. Every other dictionary starts with “a patty of ground beef” by the way, so it seems to be an American peculiarity.
If like to see the reaction of every Italian when they realize bolognese and lasagne are made out of hamburger according to Americans
Well, that explains the name “hamburger helper”. I’ve been wondering what they had in common with hamburgers besides the ground beef.
Americans… answer why. This is not on.
I don’t know what to tell you guys, hamburgers are made of hamburger, and mince sounds gross.
Minecraft squarey hamburguer
Flattening also means that you can thaw the beef quicker when you want to cook … and in terms of body parts, it’s better to use a barrel of acid to dissolve the evidence.
Do you know how expensive a whole barrel of acid is?
Cheaper than trying to hide body parts for longer than a week … why are we discussing what to do with human body parts?
…no reason.
Which reminds me, I have to go clean my freezer … and check on my barrel of acid.
… who said anything about the body parts being human?
ಠ_ಠ
They’re spare parts for when mine fail.
Do you know how expensive a criminal conviction is?
How do you feel about lye? Seems to clean the organic crap better. For metal I use sulfuric. ?
Have you tried sulfuric acid on organic matter? Found some H2SO4 when I was a kid and began pouring it on stuff. Plants and chicken shit were really good for an orange cloud… Don’t stand down wind
But acid gooped body parts don’t taste as good.
Don’t use an acid for mammalian necromass. I hear that NaOH should be a good degreaser…
That or pigs apparently. If you already have the body in parts, don’t put in the freezer for your mom locate. I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig”.
Actually, you could let the pigs it all, lock, stock, and barrels, and then use a healthy dose of lye (that’s the NaOH from before) to treat the pigs’ shit for any left over solids. I’m not much of a chemist, but I do reckon that you’re left with any identifiable pieces after that ordeal.
Evidence? I’m eating them. What do you think the freezer is for?
Honestly a superior storage idea.
This does work and is an okay lifehack, I guess, but it does add potential contamination risks and the packaged hamburger is already pretty stackable.
If you buy hamburger in bulk you get a better price, but once you open that package you have to either use it all at once (not easy for every household) or watch the leftovers go bad unless you portion out and freeze it like this.
I prefer reusable glass containers, though they lose some space efficiency.
What do I do with the rest? Eat it like normal, just without the meat? D:
Then later make the patties for hamburgers? Chaotic, not sure where in the scale of evil.
I didn’t realize this wasn’t universal until upthread, but Americans refer to all ground beef as hamburger or hamburger meat.
Holup
Someone’s been looking in my freezer(s).
But hamburger is body parts?
Their body my parts
I think this comment made me vegan
Get well soon 🙏
I mean they will be healthier, less likely to get cancer or heart disease so…yes, they will get well soon.
Once you get more into the hobby, a standard freezer is going to fill up fast. The real pro move is investing in a dedicated chest freezer out in your storage shed.
Walk-in meat freezers are becoming quite affordable these days for the serious hobbyist.
You can easily build your own with a device that lets you use a window AC to cool
I disagree. I got one once and it cost me an arm and a leg.
You should buy second hand. It gives you a legs up.
