I am going to come across like a condescending dick here, but real talk: Does Amazon have an EAP for access to counseling or therapy? If so, and you’re not leveraging it already, I think you would benefit from doing so.

I agree with some the sentiment you present in this thread, if not all aspects/means (the points about simplifying aspects of your life in general are well taken), but if you’re not trolling even a little bit it sounds like you’re suffering a lot.