If you can handle it, it’s quite liberating honestly. I feel like it brings me and my wife closer because we can just be honest with eachother and talk openly about things.

We watch movies together and gossip about who’s hot. She’s done things I’m not into, I’ve done things she’s not into, and we can talk about it without feeling threatened we might not be good enough. I’m not worried the slightest even when she go hang out with exes. I trust she loves me and will always come back home. None of this has to take away anything from me. If there’s something I can’t provide, she can get it elsewhere, it makes her happy, she’s more happy with me, we’re all happy. I have nothing to gain from her being unhappy and unfulfilled, it would just make her miserable and tension build up in our relationship.

We make it get us closer rather than drive us apart, and we get to be there for all the people we care about.

And by extension, you can have all sorts of atypical relationships. Maybe there’s someone you care about intimately but would never be able to live with. Maybe you have a bestie you get spicy with once in a while. Maybe there’s someone important to you that travels a lot but you like to snuggle up with when they’re in town. Maybe your primary partner has a different libido than you do. Maybe you just like flirting a lot, or enjoy receiving the attention. Maybe you swing both ways and enjoy some variety. I’ve even seen sometimes the boyfriend just likes to jack off with his buddy. I had a roommate I was very cuddly with but never slept with.

It’s not even always about sex but just being more intimate with someone than would be normal for a monogamous relationship. And it doesn’t have to take away from a potential bigger commitment with a primary partner, like a house and kids. It can even be extra support, I’d babysit for a partner to give the parents time together. It comes in all shapes and forms that works for you. As long as it’s done safely and it makes everyone happy in the end, it’s not so bad.