Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘InfoWars’ By Bryce P. Tetraeder, Global Tetrahedron CEO ☞ https://theonion.com/heres-why-i-decided-to-buy-infowars/

And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of the market. And just like family members, our brands regard one another with mutual suspicion and malice.

🤣

  • zbyte64@awful.systems
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    6 days ago

    Musk just had a judge in Texas say they’re going to review the bid. I guess we know who the other bidder was now.

  • latenightnoir@lemmy.world
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    9 days ago

    Honestly, considering how much of a clown Alex Jones was, they have their work cut out for them if they want to compete at comedic levels!

    Either way, this may be the best news I’ve heard all year, thank you!

    • hamsterkill@lemmy.sdf.org
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      9 days ago

      I wonder if this gives them the rights to all of Infowars’ library of footage. Maybe they could “keep” Jones as a host by cutting up old clips kinda how South Park did with Isaac Hayes for Chef’s last episode.

      • Joeffect@lemmy.world
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        9 days ago

        Up for grabs at the auction were Infowars production rights and materials, the Infowars store, domain names, production equipment and other assets — including a Terradyne armored truck and a Winnebago motor home — that can be purchased in their entirety or in parts, according to the firm, ThreeSixty Asset Advisors. Jones broadcasts from the Austin, Texas, area.

        • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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          8 days ago

          Considering what The Onion has been able to do with manipulating video for the sake of comedy, I can’t wait to see what they do with any of their footage.

        • Tanis Nikana@lemmy.world
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          9 days ago

          I’ll take the middle third of the Winnebago, just carve it out and drop it on Nick Fuentes’ lawn, thanks.

      • nova_ad_vitum@lemmy.ca
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        9 days ago

        I home they own Jones’ likeness to the point where they can give DJs the rights to remix his shouts into something of value.

  • Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works
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    9 days ago

    I genuinely don’t know how they plan to make a parody of InfoWars that will not be indistinguishable from the original thing.

    • EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      9 days ago

      The funniest thing to do would be to turn it into either a legitimate leftist new site or a leftist themed nujob conspiracy mill (though I don’t know how that would work).

      • booly@sh.itjust.works
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        9 days ago

        leftist themed nujob conspiracy mill

        The Republican party is ripe for conspiracy theory targets.

        Epstein had close ties with Trump and his attorney general Bill Barr (whose father hired Epstein to teach at a prestigious private high school without a college degree, where he was known for ogling the high school girls and showing up to parties where underage drinking was happening). The waitresses and hostesses at Trump’s Mar a Lago were also regularly recruited to work at Epstein’s island. Alex Acosta, the federal prosecutor who agreed to a secret plea deal where Epstein served a slap on the wrist in a local jail instead of real prison was later elevated to Trump’s cabinet, as Labor Secretary.

        Now, Trump has named another child sex trafficker as his nominee for Attorney General.

        There are suspicious ties between the Saudi royal family and key members in Trump’s orbit, including his son in law Jared Kushner. Elon Musk has been doing sketchy shit with the Saudis and the Russians, as well. Basically everyone in Trump’s circle, including his nominee to be the director of national intelligence, has shady ties with foreign adversaries.

        There’s lots of other little things about financial profiteering by the Trump folks: an SBA COVID bailout that went to huge businesses, a move to privatize or sabotage the public postal service and the weather service to help the private competition, arbitrary or politically motivated regulations to help certain businesses while hurting others, etc.

        I mean, it really wouldn’t be hard.

      • Cethin@lemmy.zip
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        9 days ago

        I’m hoping for something similar to what The Colbert Report used to be.

    • Troy@lemmy.ca
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      9 days ago

      Probably the money paid for whomever Alex Jones lost lawsuits against – so like Sandy Hook victims.

    • atocci@lemmy.world
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      9 days ago

      The sale follows a judge’s order earlier this year for Jones to liquidate his personal assets, to help him to pay off the $1.4bn he was ordered to pay the families of victims of the 2012 Sandy Hook school shooting…

      I believe this money goes to the victims’ families

    • ricecake@sh.itjust.works
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      9 days ago

      The assets were auctioned off to pay his debt to the families of the Sandy Hook shooting.
      So effectively they gave money to the families of children killed in a school shooting that he slandered in cruel and vile ways.

      Given that the families pretty reasonably dislike him, the added bonus of his creation being used to openly mock him and promote a message they endorse is quality icing on the cake.

      • half_fiction@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        9 days ago

        One thing the headlines aren’t mentioning is that the families actually even helped fund a portion of the Onion’s bid.

        In order to make the bid work, a lawyer representing the families told CNN that the families “agreed to forgo a portion of their recovery to increase the overall value of the Onion’s bid, enabling its success”.

    • half_fiction@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      9 days ago

      It was being auctioned for the victims but there was also the real risk that a supporter would win who would let him he continue on business as usual. So definitely money well spent.