To keep it short: my ex-wife cheated on me with this guy, we divorced, she married him immediately after. Since January we’ve been co-parenting, she has our son (14 years old) for 2 weeks & I have him for 2 weeks. Her now husband is wealthy, and for the winter holidays they plan on going to the Maldives for 3 weeks (I agreed to give up 1 week of my 2 weeks; gonna get +1 week with son after the vacation). Apparently son has been asking his mom and stepdad if I can come as well. So ex-wife calls me and asks me if I’d like to go, all expenses paid by them, just to be with our son and have some fun - and let’s “put all the bad blood behind”. I told her I’ll think about it, but honestly I don’t think I’d feel comfortable. At the same time going would make son extremely happy obviously. Idk.
Sounds a bit annoying to go on a trip with just you, your son and the couple that cheated on you. I assume you’re not just going to spend all the time with your son, are you the type who has an easy time entertaining themselves alone in such a place? Otherwise, that’s a lot of time to spend third-wheeling with a couple that you’re not particularly fond of.
I took solo trips before, I have no issues entertaining myself. My problem is I strongly believe I’d be irritated being around the guy for so long. I know I technically should be more angry at my ex-wife for cheating cause she was the one who was supposed to be committed to me and all of that, but maybe because we were so in love previously, I just don’t feel that super angry with her at the moment. On the other hand I can’t stand the man.
Do. Not. Go.
As much as your son wants you to go, as others have said, you’d be giving him some very messed up ideas on how relationships work, and there are waaaasay too many chances of something happening and causing unforeseen problems.
I would explain that you’d like to go to spend time with him, but you’re not in a place where that is a healthy decision to make and for the sake of your mental health and continued healthy relationships all around it’s best for you not to join. It will hurt both of you emotionally, but it’s probably the best long term choice. If necessary, you can throw in a ‘next time
gadgetson’ in there to show this isn’t how it always will be.In that case I don’t think you should go. Your son is 14, he will be able to tell that there is bad blood. Maybe sit him down and explain that you would like to go for his sake but think it’s too soon and you are not comfortable around them yet (without throwing blame on them, as difficult as that may be).