It was 2 years ago in summer. I was a 22 y. o. girl who just broke up with her 24 y.o. boyfriend. After 1 month he asked me to meet with him to discuss some issues. We’ve met in a park. At the beginning he acted normally, but then he started becoming aggressive, we started to argue and all of a sudden he grabbed my throat and started strangling me. I got shocked since he’s like 6’3" tall and strong and I’m just 5’2". But then I remembered that I had a pocket knife with me. So I quickly pulled it out of my right pocket and just plunged it right into his belly up to the hilt. He exclaimed like: “Ugh! Shit! My gut!” and I felt he’s starting to loosen his grip. I pressed the knife as deep as possible into his belly - my heart was racing out of stress as I did it, feeling his soft belly leaning onto my right hand and hearing him moaning deeply like: “Haugh! Hoooooooooooooooogh!” (he just had a really deep voice). Finally, as he took his hands off my throat, I twisted the blade and pulled it out. He clatched his wounded belly with both hands and fell on his knees.
I then called the police and ambulance. Luckily there was a camera nearby, so I could prove myself right. I got justified, my ex survived and got convicted.
I’m not sure anyone besides your ex-boyfriend would defend his actions?
Size doesn’t matter. Let’s say you’re a female body builder, and you’re 7’5, 300lbs of muscle. And he’s 4’2, 60lbs. Once he decides to get physically abusive, you have the right to defend yourself.
Now back to reality, your size vs his size means you’re not winning a physical battle in an even fight.
It requires you to have a weapon. Even after stabbing him he didn’t let go. Think about that. In order to get out of his grip, you HAD to go as deep as you did.
It’s the same reason I defend the Hiroshima & Nagasaki bombings in WWII. One atomic bomb wasn’t enough for them to surrender. Two atomic bombs weren’t enough for them to surrender. It was only on the promise of the future 3rd atomic bombing that they surrendered. So we HAD to go that far.
Some justified actions feel bad that they had to go that far.
Yep, I see your point, thanks.
I kind of still remember my ex’s deep moaning and loud exhaling with a suffering face and his body bending over while I deepened my knife into his belly…
You might tell yourself in retrospect that you consciously made that decision to deepen it and twist it, but with the adrenaline, panic, fear? You instinctually reacted to survive, and the fact you were able to withdraw from the situation before inflicting greater harm is a testament to the fact it wasn’t cruel.
Yeah, perhaps it was rather instinctive than conscious
Seems justified. If anything you practiced restraint by not killing him. If I was in your place I’m not sure I would have stopped because I’d be too scared that the wound wasn’t enough and that he might get up at any moment and start attacking me again.
Thanks. Don’t you think wounding his belly (a soft and vulnerable area) in such a way was too cruel?
Cruel? Of the places to be stabbed, the belly is probably one of the least severe ones, especially on males, so long as you get medical attention. Stabbing in a limb could result in long term damage much more easily.
You were in the process of being strangled, even if in hindsight you think you did, you weren’t making a choice with any thought of it being cruel or not. There was likely adrenaline at that point, and panic. No one could successfully argue you had the presence of mind to make a conscious decision to be cruel.
I’m sure you’ll have lifelong trauma, and might need to seek therapy if you aren’t already receiving it. It sounds like a part of what you’re experiencing is a form of survivor’s guilt. But no, how you got yourself out of that situation wasn’t cruel.
Well, thanks!
Though I think the stab was a really brutal one. There are vitals, aorta, pretty much blood in the belly and I heard that its very painful to get stabbed there. Not talking about sepsis risks. And if on top of that he had a meal just before I stabbed him, that should have been a particualrly excruciating stab.
AI generated troll text.
No, I’m just good at describing my experience
“good”, eh?
If you haven’t talked to a therapist about this, please do so. Even if you were physically ‘fine,’ what you’re describing would be pretty traumatic for most people. Feeling guilty about defending yourself is totally normal, even though it was completely justified and there was every reason to believe he was trying to kill you. It means you’re a normal person with empathy who doesn’t just want to stab people.
You spent a strangely long amount of time just describing the stab, especially considering the 4 word sentence establishing the scene. Makes me think this is just an excuse to write about someone getting stabbed in the stomach.
Also, I remember someone on here who was also oddly fixated on gut stabs. Like, it came up a lot, and often seemed like a forced way to talk about gut stabs. I figured it was either an excuse for being bad at fencing, or it was a sex thing. I initially assumed it was the same guy who wrote this.
You’re probably thinking of @BeReady77@lemmy.world. I’ve been expecting another post any day but wasn’t anticipating a name change.
Its that “strangled by nerd thighs” thing all over again, isnt it?
Yeah, pretty much. Look at how often the word “belly” comes up, especially combined with being described as soft and vulnerable. Then ask yourself why half the post was a vivid description of the stab, but there wasn’t ANY description of the scene of the incident.
I don’t know what you are talking about, sorry. I haven’t seen the posts you are talking about. I just described pretty detailed the whole situation, thats it
I mean, in that situation, wouldn’t the part where you end up deciding you have to hurt someone to escape a traumatic situation going to be the most detailed part of the memory?
I’m not saying people don’t do shit like that on the internet, but I really don’t think this post is nearly obvious enough to be a place to start calling someone out about it. Even if all OP wanted to do was type it out and just vent it, there’s not anything wrong with that.
I admit, I would have brushed it off as just a bit weird if it weren’t for the memory of the guy who kept posting about gut stabs. But seeing the comment where they describe the stomach as a soft and vulnerable area rang such a specific bell that I couldn’t ignore it.
Plus, they asked this question in two question subs (deleting one of them), and they only seem to want to know the general opinion on justified self-defence. If they aren’t a troll, their motives are bizzare.
Yeah, I tend to default to assuming non troll for this reason. The rewards of the best case scenario (correctly recognizing a troll) simply don’t outweigh the consequences of the worst case scenario (calling someone who went through a traumatic experience a troll because you’re too online).
If I’m wrong, then all I’ve done is put out good vibes and hopefully something useful for other people.
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti
Sounds justified. What sort of responses are you hoping for?
I’m just curious about how people actually perceive that situation, I guess
If I’m taking your word for it, your much larger ex bf tried to strangle you on camera in a public park and you used a self-defense tool against him. Sounds like you were entirely in the right to me. Would you have done anything different?
I guess not. Though I realize how brutal belly stabs are
even though it seems justified, I can image that’s a lot to deal with emotionally
Yep, it is
yeah that’s rough, I can imaging even more traumatizing with someone you had a relationship with. unfortunately no matter how much we might want a graceful resolution, when someone crosses boundaries like that there’s no “good” way to handle it—they have already forced you in a position where you are being hurt, trapped, or defenseless. there needs to be some level of consequence when boundaries are crossed like this, otherwise the same problems just get worse and worse over the years. i think the most important thing is to not internalize it as part of your identity. that’s not who you are at all, it was a reasonable decision you made quickly in a dangerous situation. even animals have boundaries and will lash back if you cross them, and unfortunately there’s a lot of people that won’t understand unless they really feel it
Yep, you’re right
I think you were really lucky, a pocket knife is a lot riskier than a can of mace or taser or something. Easy to take away. But if it’s what you got, then it’s what you got. Also should’ve aimed a little lower.
