So I went to check in online, and it asked me to check some boxes for what luggage I wanted to bring on board. I did, and it told me that to carry on both a backpack and a roller bag it’ll be $45, or $65 if I try to play games and they have to check stuff at the gate.
I said fuck that, and unchecked some boxes. It said I couldn’t check in without putting a credit card on file, that they would charge if there were any issues and they wound up needing to charge me for my luggage. It wouldn’t let me continue without putting a credit card on file and checking a box that said they could charge me for my luggage, if they felt it was excessive.
I said fuck that and decided to check in at the airport. I threw all my stuff in a backpack to remove any wiggle room, and the kiosk said the same thing. I talked to one of the people, and she said it’s a new policy. I pointed out that I paid for my ticket, she could see I had only a backpack, and I wanted to get in the airplane. She told me to go talk to the guy at the end.
I talked to the guy at the end, politely, and eventually he printed a boarding pass for me. But you should know they’re up to some bullshit.
Stop flying.
MAKE ME.
why would I fly united? do they go places other airlines don’t?
Because cheaper. And now, I know why.
After having to fly United a bunch of times this summer, they changed the names of the tickets and invented a new “no one wants that” tier.
There’s now standard economy which is what everyone’s used to and gives you a “personal item” (i.e. a backpack or a purse) and a “carry on item”, and basic economy which only includes the personal item. They mention it on their website, but on third party websites its not quite as obvious which ticket you’re getting.
It has been a nightmare - on every single flight there’s a crowd of people pissed that they aren’t allowed a carry on with their ticket, with them having to run halfway across the airport to upgrade their tickets or pay 3x as much for a bag they thought was included.
If you’re being charitable, it’s a roundabout discount on checked bags to fix the problem they invented by charging for checked bags and then sucking at handling them. Every single flight I took had them asking for people to check their carry on for free because the bins were going to be overloaded, and it seems like they want to incentivize actually checking a bag again.
I started instantly asking them to gate check my carry on (for free) because honestly, the airport experience is way nicer when you don’t have to deal with your luggage all the time. If you check 1 bag as a couple you might even save money, and if you’re alone it might be worth the difference to not have to worry about only having two pairs of pants on your three week trip.
More realistically they want to normalize having to pay for carry on the same way they did checked bags, and they are trying to sneak around that by starting with only their new BS economy tier. Wouldn’t surprise me if they got rid of “basic” and just made carry on a “business class” or whatever amenity.
It’s basic economics in its ugly application.
Usually, the people who are buying stuff come in different tiers: The people who want to pay the least at all cost, people who are careless enough to get fleeced out of a few dollars for the same crappy product if paying less is difficult, and people who are willing to pay a premium for really good stuff. There’s an art to structuring your service to catch all of the tiers, and make sure that they’re all going to pay the highest price they will accept, and I think “basic economy” is a new technological development in drawing a more effective distinction between tiers 1 and 2.
What makes it ugly is that they’re designing deliberately punitive features into the service to push people up into tier 2 who would otherwise be going on Kayak and just clicking the “cheapest” button. If you have any willingness to pay $40 more, they want it. They’re going to put you to the test a little bit, to make sure that you’re committed to the lowest price, and then if so they’re going to punish you a little for it, while still taking your money.
American and United are now both on the no-fly list for me, I think. I may have to see what airlines are decent, when you fly them one tier up.
I learned this about United this summer. Except the language they used didn’t specifically rule out roller bags, it called them “full-sized carryon”. I showed up with a checked bag and a small carryon. The desk agent told me wheels make it a “full-sized” regardless of the dimensions. Fortunately, I was able to stuff a bunch of stuff a bunch of my crap into my checked SCUBA bag, and repack my regs and underwear into the backpack I was bringing anyways.
Note: This was on an International flight so I REALLY didn’t appreciate feeling like I was flying on a budget airline.
Thank you for your comment, I was confused what people are complaining about (you’ve had to pay for carry on items since ~2008, which have always been different than a “personal item” which is like a backpack or tote bag that you can bring for free if you store under the seat in front of you). It sounded like people weren’t understanding what a personal item was vs a carry on. But if they are arbitrarily saying wheels, regardless of size, also determine personal item vs carryon, I can see the frustration.
But otherwise their policy has been like this for a super long time - pay for carry on, and if you pay at the gate they charge extra. Almost 20 years now.
That being said I hold a grudge against all airlines for charging you a fee to pick your seat. They used to let you just pick it as a perk for booking online. Now they even have to nickel and dime our fucking loved one’s emotional support while we pray that the plane doesn’t fucking fall apart and while we breathe in the germs of some stranger next to us. Airlines are assholes.
Eta: airline fun fact - the CIA used to own an airline (this is verified by the CIA’s website itself)
My sarcastic asshole would have snapped the wheels off the bag if that’s the distinction they want to have.
Lol, Hilarious and justified but I get quite compliant around people who could stand between me and a SCUBA/ bachelor party trip.
I read that as “United States” and the headline only started to look suspicious with the word “passengers”.
I thought Manchester United.
I wish flying was affordable. My girlfriend lives in Korea and it’s going to cost her 2k to come see my family in Canada in December. This is nearly double what she paid in 2017 for the same trip, and while it’s not prohibitively expensive, it’s deterrently expensive
I stopped flying United when they beat the shit out of one of their passengers and dragged him off the plane
United: “Fly the friendly skies”
that’s what they tell you right before throwing you off the plane
For those unfamiliar with that incident:
On April 9, 2017, at Chicago O’Hare International Airport, four paying customers were selected to be involuntarily deplaned from United Express Flight 3411 to make room for four deadheading employees. One of these passengers was David Dao, 69, a Vietnamese-American who was injured when he was physically assaulted and forcefully removed from the flight by Chicago Department of Aviation Security officers. Dao, a pulmonologist, refused to leave his seat when directed because he needed to see patients the following day. In the process of removing him, the security officers struck his face against an armrest, then dragged him – bloodied, bruised, and unconscious – by his arms down the aircraft aisle, past rows of onlooking passengers. The incident is widely characterized by critics – and later by United Airlines itself – as an example of mishandled customer service.
did no one go to prison for this??? wtf
No, because United employees didn’t beat the passenger up, the police did. That’s not even remotely close to the worst thing that cops have gotten away with.
i thought that wasn’t actually police
Following a review prompted by the incident, in July 2017 the Chicago Department of Aviation reported that its unsworn, unarmed airport security personnel were not actually police officers under Illinois law. Their uniforms, badges and vehicles had been “improperly” labeled “police” for historical reasons. It promised that the incorrect insignia would be removed within months.
“mishandled customer service”
That is not the appropriate term for what happened!
Never fly United. And then still pay them when the government bails them out.
You know what’s objectively worst than united, as per polls and feedback?
Every Canadian airline.
We used to have a good one, but they just got bought out by scumbags. It wasn’t the one with our country in the name. Now they both suck worse than the other. You don’t think that’s possible, logically, but you’ll find out it’s true.
The same thing happened in Australia. It is a tragedy.
Why are you being so mysterious about the good airline?? Are you an rpg npc?
Can’t be air canada and repressed trauma prevents me from acknowledging WestJet’s existence, so I’m going to guess the good one is Harbour Air. They run the cute little seaplanes you see around Vancouver and Victoria. I hear that boarding one when the system clock is set to 3am unlocks a special area where you can catch spirit bears.
Yeah they’ve gotten really weird about forcing you to use their app and put a credit card on it constantly. Really annoying.
Well, they do break guitars…
I refuse to fly domestically anymore just because the TSA is all security theater, I refuse to go through their backscatter x-ray, and I’m not interested in their enhanced groping. I will ride my motorcycle 1000 miles in a single day rather than take a plane anywhere.
Is your name Dean?
It is neither Dean nor Sam.
Besides, a motorcycle is far more fuel efficient; I typically get about 40-45mpg, v. 12mpg for a '67 Impala.
Road trip is more eco friendly anyways.
Same. Flying has become such a terrible experience that I refuse to take part in it anymore. With the overbooking resulting in people getting kicked off planes, price-gouging customers, constantly late flights, stranding people without compensation, people packed in so tight that no one is comfortable, lack of cleanliness, constitutional rights violations, stealing luggage and items in luggage, violations of people’s bodies…I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to call it cruelty to the passengers.
Also the planes sometimes fall apart now
Same.
I will road trip or take a train instead of flying. I’d rather be on the road twelve hours than in a plane for one.
They phased out back scatter x-ray like a decade ago. They only use millimeter wave, which doesn’t have ionizing radiation.
Regardless; the TSA was caught lying about the capabilities of the machines, and I’m just not willing to step foot through one. The ionizing radiation doesn’t worry me, because I was never flying frequently enough for it to be an issue.
I will ALWAYS get the grope if I avoid the cancer box.
I have a deep-seated fear of the cancer box. I was okay with it - I get x-rays a bit for ongoing Achilles issues - until I learned that when Boston TSA asked the FAA what the risks are of standing nearby it for hours at a time, the response was
No. We're not telling. STFU & GBtW.That’s when I decided I’d like to avoid it.
What I’ve learned:
- sometimes they’re bored and don’t wanna do it so they’ll wave you through an arch and you’re out.
- don’t call it a cancer box to an obvious type-a failed-cop TSA agent or you’ll have a discussion you’ll want to get out of quickly
- sometimes they want to be dinks. If you have any shame - not me, ex-army - it may not be comfy to show a dad-bod to the other passengers. Take the hazing.
- usually they roll their eyes and call the noob over and it’s a perfunctory process.
So there.
I used to work in a job that involved handling radioactive materials. We had dosimeter badges to track long term exposure to radiation. One pass through the full body scanner at a TSA checkpoint would make the dosimeter badge come back from the lab at greater than monthly allowable exposure. I’ll take the grope.
“why are cancer rates increasing?”
It’s very hard for me to care if cancer rates for TSA agents go through the roof; they willingly signed up for that shit, so fuck 'em.
Let’s be fair.
They signed up to be the lowest of the overly-entitled rentacops out there. that’s on them.
They didn’t sign up to get irradiated by some shady shit that the FCC is all “no. Fuck off” about when asked about safety concerns.
So let’s render unto Caesar on this one. The FCC (FAA? I may have that wrong) are huge dinks for knowingly subjecting their people to rads way in excess of what’s cool – worse if you look at the TSA people and realize they aren’t pasty-whites and then it’s mean to minorities.
And Logan intl are dinks, just like whatever union the TSA people are in, for not supporting and protecting the staff. That lawsuit is gonna be like Erin Brockovich II .
And this just reminds you that if they could get other jobs then they will. The people who can’t dead-sea-effect out of there are gonna be absolutely unemployable elsewhere. And that fills me with a warm and fuzzy feeling about the mental capacity and happiness of TSA agents and their international emulants.
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I just pay their premiums in order to avoid all the hassles you described. It’s a bitch.
That’s their goal
Obligatory “fuck United”.
They fucked up my vacation a number of years ago and I have since sworn them off. The most generous interpretation of the incident is that I missed an email updating a time change and arrived at the airport after the flight had left. Their next flight wasn’t until the next morning. My wife and I were looking and there was a flight from a different airline that would have cost them $400 each to book for us (they wouldn’t refund us so we could purchase that separately). The first agent at the counter completely understood our request but simply didn’t have the authority to make that decision. So she got a supervisor. The supervisor did that annoying ass thing where they listen to your request and then restate it in objectively different terms to sound unreasonable. In the end they covered a hotel for the night and gave us $550 each in travel vouchers and lost a customer for life. So they ended up paying way more and lost a customer than had they not fucked around from the start. Had they paid the $400 from the beginning, we’d have given them much higher preference on our future flights which have been many.
Airlines are assholes and they keep getting worse. We’re at the end of the stage of capitalism where things seem somewhat ok sometimes and maybe good if you’re lucky. Everything is going to be awful and terrible to increasing degrees from here on.
End stage capitalism is more easily defined: all, or nearly all Consumer surplus has been converted to Firm profit.
Please drink verification can
hits can
pick up that can
Is this an ancient 4chan pasta?
Yes
It was such a ludicrous satire at the time and now it’s just moderately hyperbolic
Pleaae shove the empty can into your ass.
moans
no not like that
Someone is doing with some gusto!
For the first couple years it’ll only be sound based and we’ll all be doing a modern version of phreaking.
