I’ve seen clip of that financial advice show “The Ramsey show” on YouTube and the things that old man say are shocking to me. According to him I shouldn’t give a single cent to my parents… That’s so against my culture. I would be seen as downright evil if I do that.
Hell I’m unemployed for like a year by now and still sent 200 euro a few months ago to my father that still lives in my home country that I haven’t seen in 17 years.
Are you really Americans like that? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t see it as cold hearted but I see it as unnatural, and I’M a “socialess” cold person in essence.
Some things are common within a culture, but even in places where most people are inclined to help their aging parents, like various countries in Asia, there are still children who reasonably choose not to do so. Cultural tendencies are simply that, tendencies. If your country doesn’t have a law requiring you to provide support, it’s because lawmakers know that in some situations it might be reasonable not to do so.
Did you notice how you wrote that you would be seen as downright evil, but you didn’t say by who? I feel like that’s something you ought to consider more carefully.
You gave an example of sending your father money, but you haven’t seen him for 17 years. This raises many more questions. Does he need your money? Is your money helping? If you found out that he didn’t need your money and it’s not helping, would you stop sending it? Are you sending the money to make yourself feel good, even though it’s not helping him? How do you think he would feel if you found out you were sending him money even though you’re jobless?
Finally, you used the word “unnatural” knowing that it’s just not true. That was certainly an antagonistic approach to the issue. Is that what you intended? Was it accidental? If it was accidental, what word did you actually mean instead?
My father is unemployed and early 60s old. Good luck finding job like that in a bankrupt corrupt Latin country. And he grew up dirt poor, started working at age 8. From carrying bricks and making them, delivering food on foot made by his mom, to 2nd hand construction, to janitor to security - stewart in a casino, He’s not lazy, is just his reality.
Nobody is attacking your father here. At least I hope they aren’t. My questions were about your knowledge and beliefs.
They did
My guess is you’re talking to a middle-aged white guy with a white-collar job, probably in something related to IT, web development, or something similar who has parents that are likely doing fine.
Being confused as to why it would seem natural to you help your family if you could says a lot about his own “cultural tendencies” and privilege.
If I told you that your assumptions about my background or wrong, and if I told you that I wasn’t confused, what would you say?
… It’s kind of sad, because you could have been part of an interesting discussion, but you got careless and decided that you would go into attack mode to protect someone who wasn’t being attacked from … I have no idea what you think you were protecting them from. Clearly they were trying to get a sense of why people have various intuitions, and presumably they are willing to be somewhat introspective about the things they grew up believing, too.
K