Turns out the reply in my thread telling me the best way to combat not caring about Linux is to care about Linux was absolutely correct.
I picked up a laptop, installed Linux Mint Cinnamon, and I’m already obsessed. I haven’t had this much fun with a PC in a long time and it’s just a cheapo Dell Inspiron 3520.
Mostly either cargo shorts or ragged jeans. The biggest hurdle is growing the badly maintained beard.
The programming socks and skirt are only required if you can’t work remotely.