Turns out the reply in my thread telling me the best way to combat not caring about Linux is to care about Linux was absolutely correct.
I picked up a laptop, installed Linux Mint Cinnamon, and I’m already obsessed. I haven’t had this much fun with a PC in a long time and it’s just a cheapo Dell Inspiron 3520.
Why? None of that sounds like a pleasant experience.
That’s because it is not :) especially since many WiFi card vendors do not give documentation so writing a driver for it is basically impossible.