Redbull would beg to differ
Someone alert Alex Horne
Fuck border patrol, I hereby upgrade “possible tornado” to “neighborhood tornado watch”
“possible tornado” hurt someone?
What?
Someone wanted comp and the government is filled with gullible idiots.
Well, you can have a funnel cloud, but it’s not a tornado until the condensation funnel touches the ground, and it’s not always clear what the case is until proper surveying is done.
I’m ngl, this was so hard to read. Why does english have 2 meanings for can?
Three. Depending on where you are in the U.S., a toilet is also a “can”. It’s more of a slang meaning, but if you ever hear an American saying they’re “going to go hit the can,” it means they’re going to use the bathroom.
Also pelts can mean fur or yeet
Imagine a language invented by a drunken german who thought french sounded nice. That’s english in a nutshell
Also, why should we hail the size of energy drink cans?
Can you do the can can whilst canning peas and drinking a can of monster all whilst on the can?
What energy drink is shaped like that?? Maybe the diameter is similar, but no way it’s the size of a whole can.
Maybe those five hour energy and similar shots? That’s all I can come up with though.
“Size of a nice rice ball” would have been more appropriate. Maybe if you tried flattening a 5 hour?
Texans do not know what a riceball is.
The American localization of Pokemon in the 1990s calling onigiri (triangular riceballs) doughnuts has become one of the most infamous in-jokes in Anime.
We talking red bull or Rockstar?
Neither are ovoid shaped, right? I just don’t understand.
Those small cans you get on the plane? But why the ‘energy’? Probably to shitpost IMO.
I don’t know I’ve never removed the pelt off one
Well “energy” is a bit of a stretch but… (I’ll let YouTube thumbnails take it from here)
inb4”silence brand”
Ok, ok, maybe… Thank you for this. Good call.
Funny, I’ve never seen an energy drink come in a can that small.
Low key convinced this started out as “monster hail” and then got butchered by an AI or like 5 Google translate passes
anything but the metric system
We may be the minority, but many of us Americans prefer the metric system.
Ease of conversion and relationship with calories aside, have you ever tried measuring small SI machine screws? Calipers run decimal, not fractions. You can’t compare them without math or memorization. It’s a pain in the ass.
Hail the size of Pillsbury Toaster Strudel
They look exactly golfball-sized, wtf. This is the default measurement unit for hail!
Those are some big golf balls you play with. Maybe racquetballs?
Yeah this in between golf ball and baseball.
Yeah, ok, well only babies drink energy drinks that small.
We need a child-sized drink for that
based tornado
Using republican logic, God hates the border patrol.
How to actually read this:
Hail the size of energy. (Meaning ‘Glory to the size of energy’)
Drink can pelts Texas while possible tornado injuries US Border Patrol agent.
How do you get the pelt off of an energy drink can, though?
A surprising lot of them are re-skinned, actually, so that’s a legit thing. Depending on your definition of pelt.
Lots of cans that were printed for discontinued lines, or printed before a label change, have plastic sleeves over the can to re-brand them, even when the label on the old and new is identical…
Or, is it drink can doing the pelting of Texas? Also an interesting option
It’s a good thing they included the coin for scale otherwise we might have just assumed this person had Trump sized hands (another completely valid and totally real unit of measure, the greatest unit of all time actually)
