All this working is not working

If only our lives weren’t bound by work…

Fuck, I feel this so hard…

“I’m going to get a bunch of chores done so I can try this new game out without guilt of procrastination. Or maybe try out a hobby.”

One set of chores later…

“Yawn. I’m out of energy to start something new.”

Part of it, for me, is that I still want to play games as I did when I was younger. I.e. multi-hour play sessions. To sit there and just get lost in it for the whole evening.

But increasingly that’s becoming unworkable. I got shit to do.

The solution, then, would be to adjust my expectations to like an hour of playtime here and there. But when I do that, I’ve created a schedule, and time limit, both of which really kill my personal enjoyment of game time. Playing a game while watching the clock is just not relaxing to me.

So I keep holding out for more of those evenings, those solid chunks of time when I pick up the controller and play till I’m ready for bed. But they’ve become so few and far between that gaming has become a weekend thing. That’s a problem in itself because the weekend is generally reserved for doing things with my partner or other outings.

Quarantine was probably the most gaming I’ve done in a long time. I basically got to play with the same reckless abandon as I did when I was much younger, for a couple solid months. But the chances of me being able to have that same relationship with this past time ever again appears fleeting.