Well, next time I need to fart while lecturing I know what I’m doing…
I’d honestly ask them if they’d seen a doctor about that. No one should be that gassy on a regular basis.
All I do is fart. Except during the times when I’m holding in my farts so I can keep living among society. But even then I’m just quietly belching under my breath. All I am is gas. Held together in the loose shape of a man by the surface tension in a bubble of cheeseburger grease and the force of my will to eat another. Just one more. My urine is carbonated.
.
Are you me? I gas my poor boyfriend every day. I’ve just come to accept it at this point.
I had a manager once who had 3 small kids and he rarely caught himself when he excused himself from a meeting to “go potty”.
For real man, kids make you… forget how to behave in public. I have to relearn that I cannot fart out loud in public after three years at home. I’m not even sure I can poop without someone next to me anymore. Not sure how I’m gonna find a job.
RDJ really has some big boots to fill.
RDJ really has some big
bootstoots to fill.Ftfy
I love how the last full paragraph shifts the narrative from tooting in general is strange to normalizing 2 toots, but a 3rd one???
move out of the UK
move boss out of the UK
This is so fake. Are we supposed to believe that the boss can predict when a fart is going to be extra nasty and adding an extra toot when he ALWAYS only does two???
Yeah obviously made up for fake internet points. There’s no way there was a third toot, it’s just impossible. I don’t buy it.
I mean…i have a pretty good idea if a fart is going to be gross af. You just know.
Also if you have a fart and it’s gross, then it should be reasonable to assume that the next one will also be bad.
Toot toot morherfucker.
It almost makes me want to take laxatives, go “TOOT TOOT TOOT TOOT”, then shit on the floor to assert dominance.
Just almost??
Three toots is enemy action.
I learned to dab while sneezing back when the meme wasn’t dead yet. I got so used to it, that I do that to this day. At least my palms are clean
I learned to sneeze like that long before dabbing was a thing and it wasn’t until someone commented that I just dabbed on them that it connected those dots.
Regardless, I still sneeze in my elbow.
Haha, I thought I was the only one!
I started doing it to annoy my wife, but now I still do it, and it’s taking considerable concentration to not dab when I sneeze.
I can’t believe you’re writing this either. Advice? Stay clear of the toot toot exhaust pipe? Or you know, get a new boss that doesn’t leak so much
Why remove the credit for the OP?
Better out than in, as our holy green swamp ogre says
Record the farts. Sample the audio. Create music.
The copyright issues could be interesting.
Theres a band called the Toot Toot Toots:
https://youtu.be/0_pqvod-xOw?si=Xqwk2g1nVMbDSkhP
Personally, i think this song and music video slaps
It does indeed. Thanks for sharing this, and I’m now a fan. Sadly, they seem to have split up after rebranding as ‘Twin Beasts’. I found the album for this on bandcamp: https://thetoottoottoots.bandcamp.com/album/outlaws ; and the rest of the album is great too after sampling a few tracks.
That lead vocalist is mostly incomprehensible, but his voice is awesome.
???.
Profit.
Well, I would love it if my tightly wound boss would pull something like this. Way out of character.
As a college student, I walked into the multi-use bathroom, and proceeded to a urinal. Strange, rhythmic, wet sounds were coming from the lone stall in use. I thought, “Okay, what the hell is this?” and tried to wrap things up quick, in case things got weird. Too late. I then hear another strange sound from the stall, something like crinkling wax paper. None of this made sense to my young mind. Then I hear a wet “plop” from the stall, and more crinkling wax paper noises. I quickly finish up, and turn to leave. On the floor of the stall I can see a partially eaten Subway sandwich. Unbelievable
This base human then picks up the sandwich, and continues eating.
To this day, I do not eat Subway.
