It’s not that I can’t. The problem is that when I’m with someone, I deeply yearn to be alone. I’d love to have my life for myself, with no responsibility with no one else - just me.

But then, when I’m alone, I feel like a failure, like I need a relationship to feel complete, and I fucking hate that. So I end up in another relationship, and after two years I can’t stand it anymore, and the cycle repeats.

What the hell. Has anyone suffered from something like that? How can you be alone and not feel lonely? How to kill this need to be with someone?

EDIT: Thanks for all the answers, I’m taking every single one into consideration. Please, keep them coming.

  • jbrains@sh.itjust.works
    0·
    6 months ago

    How can you be alone and not feel lonely?

    This seems like the key question. Relationships or not might not actually matter here.

    What does it mean to you to feel lonely? What kind of lonely is that?

    • Tiger Jerusalem@lemmy.worldOP
      0·
      6 months ago

      To me, it’s a mix of feeling like a failure and feeling that nothing quite matters. I mean, I do get to do things I enjoy, and I enjoy it a lot, but I never feel satisfied - I just feel empty. It’s kinda like having a feeling of obligation to be with someone, and that’s there’s something wrong with me for being alone. Like a nagging voice in the back of my head saying “this is not ok”. I don’t know if this makes sense.